Eradication
by Mocking Verse
Summary: "The Victors, they all think they're invincible." Finnick/Katniss/Peeta/OC
1. Chapter 1

**So, I'm a bit stuck on my other story, so I've started this one with inspiration from the Catching Fire trailer that came out last night!**

**Title: Eradication**

**Summary: "The Victors, they all think they're invincible." **

**Finnick/OC **

There are three main things I like to avoid in my life. The Capital, its people, and prostitution. Sadly, all three are main aspects of my life as of right now. They have been for the past six years, ever since I was crowned Victor of the sixty eighth Hunger Games. But right now is the beginning of my grace period. On the train, speeding back to District Four. The Games ended three nights ago, when Katniss Everdeen _and _Peeta Mellark were named Victors.

I've been contemplating their victory and what this means for Panem for the past seventy two hours. Bringing the cup of hot tea up to my lips and taking a slow sip, my eyes lock onto the scenery that flies by outside of the window. My leg is stretched out in front of me, the prosthetic rests against the hand rest of the chair I sit in. I lost my left leg at the end of my Games, but that's a story for another day.

My thoughts drift to home as I start to see the forest getting less dense outside. District Four is a place that I've grown very protective of over the course of my life. My District, my home, really all that I have left that I can say that's a piece of me.

I live in Victor's Village, at the end of the row of gargantuan mansions that the Capital so _graciously _provided us with. I live there by myself, having no family left to share it with, so it is too big for my liking. Though some nights I go over to eat dinner with Mags, who is the oldest living Victor in Four, on nights that she invites me. I purely accept the invitation to be nice to her, because whenever she invites me, she also invites over Finnick Odair, sex symbol of Panem (along with myself) and he was also my mentor.

Finnick Odair and I haven't had a real conversation, just the two of us, civilized, in the past five years. We talk nicely to each other at dinner, though the aura of the whole room is incredibly tense, and when we mentor each other, we'll put up with each other to a degree.

I set the now empty ceramic cup on the side table beside me and fold my hands in my lap. I change the focus of my eyes from the landscape to my slight reflection in the glass. My slight frame, broad shoulders, and tan skin I can make out. Slightly wavy light blonde hair stands out against the forest green button down shirt that covers my frame. I can't see my eyes in the mirror, but I already know there is not that much too see in them. They're a void. A deep blue of nothingness. No emotion, just numbness. And I don't even have to take some expensive ass drug to get the feeling.

Not that I have dealt with money recently. I get compensated for by my clients, who have the _nerve _to think that their gift will make the situation better for me, by having them tell me little things. Secrets. Finnick had given me the idea when I had first met him, after I asked him (rather rudely) how he pays for his whores. I regret it now, knowing that _they _bought _him_ and not the other way around. But I'm not going to apologize for that now. Let alone speak to him when it is not necessary of me.

My head snaps to the side at the sound of a door sliding open and I nod silently at the avox who enters the room. She inclines her head slightly before standing back against the wall, waiting for me to ask something of her. My mind almost forgets she is there, my body stays relaxed, but I keep a small tab on her position in the room and any small movement that she may make. I am glad that she is not standing behind me; my mind can't stand people being behind me anymore. Not that I let that show when I'm in public. No one would ever notice it bothers me, though, I don't let those things show when I'm immersed with the Capitalites. Hell, they even think Finnick and I are friends. The great tribute-mentor bond is forever intact to them.

My thoughts drift and soon, I'm thinking of when I'll have to return to the Capital again, only for a weekend in about a month to meet with clients. What if I just didn't go? I've thought of the idea before, but then I figured it would not be tolerated. But now, they just let two kids become Victors in the Games. What if I did not go, just don't get on the train. What could they do?

They already took away everyone I love.

My knuckles turn white as the grip on my cup tightens instantly. The memory of what I came too, that sick, twisted image that I had come back to forever branded into my mind.

Opening the door to my home, to find my mother and father, sliced to pieces on the living room floor. The cup shatters in my hand, but I barely notice. The image of my little brother, hanging from a noose that was tied to the ceiling light, just swaying, back and forth, dead.

I had only said 'no' once. Just one little time, Snow had sent a representative from the Capital, _Whittier _had been his name. He said that certain people in the Capital would be very generous in exchange for my..services. Of course I had refused, ran him out of my house, even after he told me that the President would be very disheartened to here of my incorporation.

Snow had visited me a week later, saying he was very sad to hear about my loss. He made it very clear that it would be our little secret. And when he made the same proposal that Whittier had, I obviously accepted without thought.

I stand up swiftly up on my one leg, my eyes locking with the avox's and I nod down to the crushed ceramic pieces on the floor. "Clean that up, have someone fetch me from my room when we are nearing District Four." I do not wait for any recognition that she's heard me, since she obviously as, she has nothing else to do. I hop out of the room and down the hallway into my room, not wanting to take the time to put on my leg; I just let it drag on the floor behind me as I bring it along.

It's a simple room, by Capital standards at least. All white, white floors, white walls. My bedspread is white as well. Except for one section of a wall, right across from my bed. The reason that no one else but myself and avoxs are allowed inside my room. There, in black paint, I've written the name of every tribute I've mentored in the past six years.

_Lando Faris_

_Annie Cresta_

_Vincent Tukhart_

_Molly Watik_

_Quinn Stevens_

_Poppy Sander_

_Maxx Val_

_Evelyn Howard_

_Michael Upton_

_Jade Xide_

And the bottom two, this year's tributes, are different from most of the others. All of them but one are crossed out. Reminding me that we have only brought one tribute home since my victory. I go over to the desk drawer and take out the paintbrush and small container of black paint, stroking a line through the names of the kids who died just a week ago.

_Titan Ocalo_

_Carly Tampas_

Only Annie has made it home. And it was only that first year that Finnick and I worked together mentoring. We've split it up since then. I mentor the boy, he mentors the girl. They last about the same amount of time. We are good to Annie though. I go visit her often, though she usually is with Mags. Finnick sometimes goes to see how she is doing. She would be the one to have to mentor instead of myself, but after seeing Lando get his head cut off a week into her Games, she has not been the same. No one ever is, of course not, but she is worse than usual. So I go for her, it is the least I could do.

I move myself to my bed, lying atop the comforter, my back against the dark oak headboard. My fingers drum idly on the white surface, my mind just giving my body something to do as I think over the situation as of now.

I don't have to be a Capital whore any more. Not anymore. I have nothing to lose. What are they going to do? Kill me? I am sure the Capital citizens would just _love _to hear of that. For the first time in a long time, a childish grin spreads across my face. Similar to one that a kid would get if they just figured out how to reach the cookie jar that was put out of their reach. I feel like I'm my real age, of just twenty one and not fifty or older.

I can get away with almost anything.

It's about an hour later that a knock comes at my door, before the avox from before opens it, nodding slightly at me before leaving. I swing my leg over the side, reaching for my prosthetic and attaching it to my knee joint.

I test it out, swinging it back and forth, moving my 'ankle' around. Small shocks get sent up into the real part of my leg that I still have, but it always does that when I first put it back on.

I deem it good to go and push myself off the bed, walking out of my room and down the hallway. The ocean is already in view and the train is starting to slow.

When most people return to their district, they look out for the people who pick them up or come to greet them from home at the station. But it is different for me, because there is no one to wait for me, no one looking forward to the day I return home. I look out just because I love the sight of my home. The ocean, the beach, the sand covering the streets.

The train comes to a stop and the door slides open before me. I step off, into the warm sun and take a deep intake of the salty ocean air. No matter how many 'Ocean' scented candles I smell in the Capital, they never quite smell like District Four really does.

I make my way through the District from the train platform to my house without a problem. I nod my head to those who I recognize and those who greet me by name.

My home in Victor's Village by far way too large. The two story, white plaster brick home has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a very large kitchen that has multiple things that I have no idea how to use, and a modern living room. And those are just the main components of it. I don't really count the library, office, and bare extra room as anything. It is too much for just me living by myself. But I got used to the home's loneliness years ago.

I open the door easily, vaguely wondering if I had even locked the door last time I left, but not really caring. That is, until I smell the roses. My nose scrunches up automatically at the stench and my lip curls upwards. I walk deeper into my house, and find the source on the table in my living room.

A single white rose, placed in a vase atop an enveloped letter. I walk over cautiously, eyeing the rose and scanning the room at the same time, before sliding out the letter, which is addressed to me.

'Ms. Stell Mere', my name, is written in fancy calligraphy handwriting. There is only one man this can be from.

And so I read the letter, once, than twice, and even a third time. At first I am shocked, and then angry, and then I am just pissed off. My hand is in a fist, the letter still legible but on crumpled paper, in my hand as I storm over to the house two doors down. I really don't give a rat's ass on if I bother him or not, so when I reach Finnick's door I just start pounding my fist against it.

_Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock _

"What the-" His mouth stays open when he sees that it's me and I give him a tight smile that I am sure looks more like a grimace. I push past him into his house without an invitation to come inside before turning around to face him.

"We have problem." I say simply and his eyebrows go up into his hairline.

"What do you mean by 'we'?" His mouth skews to one side as his sea green eyes narrow at me.

"As in, both of us, together."

"So, you're saying-"

I shove the letter into his chest and let out a huff, "Shut up, sit down and fucking read it for yourself."

**Good? Bad? Reviews are greatly welcomed!**


	2. Chapter 2

I sit across from Finnick in his living room, my right leg folded underneath me as he tries to flatten out the crumpled parts enough to read it. I look around his home as he takes his time. The layout is exactly like my own, though his looks more like someone lives there than mine does. I had forgotten what it was like; the last time I was in here must have been over four years ago now. Pictures of his family, and of the other victors who I know to be his friends, line the walls, and take up space on the mantle. I feel like a stranger in his home though.

I avert my gaze from the walls to my hands, which wring together constantly, my fingers running over my knuckles.

I feel like breaking something.

But as I have been reminded many times, that is not appropriate behavior. Usually, I do not care what people tell me is appropriate behavior. Though I am wondering what Finn will think of the letter, even though I already have no intent as to follow the request, he deserves to read it. If I start breaking his things he would not give me his opinion.

"Dearest Stellar," Finnick starts reading the letter aloud, and my movements cease, listening to the words I already know. "I am sure it has come to your attention that having two Victors in these past Hunger Games may cause, let us say, complexities among the Districts of Panem." Finnick looks up as me, his eyebrows scrunched together and I slightly jeer at him to keep reading. "Aside from Miss Everdeen and Mister Mellark, you and your mentor are my most influential Victors on the people of Panem as a whole as of yet. It seems as though the people of Panem feed off of a love story like parasites do a meal." Finnick makes a disgusted sound, "That's a gross metaphor."

"Keep reading." I snap at him and he holds up a hand in mock defense.

"It has seemed to provide them with a sense of hope, and, as you know, the only thing greater than fear, is hope. So I have a proposition to extend to you. I would so love for the spotlight to be taken off of the 'Star Crossed Lovers' of District Twelve. So, Stell, I would so enjoy it if you and Mister Odair would come out and be that distraction for the people. Please consider doing this, if not for me, then for the Capital citizens, who simply adore you. Consider wisely, I advise you, for we both know what happens when you do not. President Snow."

Finnick looks up at me, sea green eyes clashing with deep blue. I hold his gaze as he studies me. "You haven't told me things." It is a statement which I scoff at him for making.

"Obviously." I stand up, only slightly swaying and incline my head towards him slightly. "Just so you know, I ain't doing it; I just thought that since you were mentioned you should get to read it as well." I say and my words slightly stick together as my District Four accent already starts to come back after beings away for two months.

My hand is on the doorknob when I hear him speak up. "You can't do that." I turn around and glare at him. "He'll kill people you care about."

"There are no people I care about." Finnick's face falls, "He already killed them, all of them." I'm halfway out the door when he responds to me.

"What about people I care about, he'll punish me because of you." I stop, and then I decide that I do not care, but at his final attempt to get me to stay and talk it over I cave. "He'll punish Annie." Annie. Out of all the people I know in the world, she has to be the one that I am most protective over. Not because of reasons you may think, but because I know what she went through. More so than Finnick, because he did not have a major ally killed before his eyes. I did. Annie did. Finnick did not know Lando as well as Annie and I did either.

And that connects us somehow. I do not want her to have to go through what I have, what I am going through. Because I am stronger than her, I did not break like she did.

So I turn around, letting the door slam shut behind me, and walk back. Finnick is still in the same spot I left him in, but he stands up and stares me down.

"I know you hate me." I scoff out loud at him and he lets out a long breath, his hair blowing up before falling back over his eyes slightly. "We need to talk though, because we need to actually look like we can put up with each other. Believe it or not I actually do care about you slightly."

"Great to know." I say sarcastically and move over to an armchair, plopping down with an ungraceful thump and taking off my leg easily, letting it fall to the floor. Finnick's face gets a bit disturbed at the sight, but I clear my throat to get his attention back to me. "Let's see. I won my Games, I mentored, we brought Annie home and then you abandoned me and left me out to deal with the shit I was given myself." Finnick opens his mouth but I hold up a finger to him. "I'm not finished. You never tried to talk about my Games with me; you never got my side of the story. You avoided me the six months between the end of my Games and my Victory Tour. And you still have never made an attempt, so after a year I gave up and we're in what we are now." I inspect the back of my hand, a finger tracing a cut on my skin before I grin at Finn. "Did I miss anything?" I ask him sweetly. He is looking down at his feet, refusing to look me in the eye as I glare at him.

"Not a thing."

;:;

Two weeks later I am in the Capital again. Having been called over for some more 'work' and other matters to attend to, tonight being a party at the President's mansion that my presence was requested at. Finnick's was also requested; we put two and two together and figured this was Snow's way of saying this is where our 'relationship' with each other should come out.

But for right now, I stand at the small kitchen on the District Four floor of the Training Tower. I could stay in an apartment if I wanted to get one, but I choose to stay here instead. Gloss DeRevere, a Victor from District One, and the closest thing to a friend I would say I have, sits on the couch in a room over watching the television.

Our relationship is a strange one. Forced together by the Capital, Snow having forced the two of us together, to be filmed by hidden cameras while we have sex with each other to be sold to Capital citizens for thousands of dollars. He was my first, and somehow, over the years, we have bonded with one another. Though we mostly only speak to each other while in the Capital, we do call one another on a rare occasion while in our respective Districts. The icing on the cake, so to speak, for those who can afford our videos, is that Gloss DeRevere is a married man. President Snow practically forced him to marry a Capital lady of a high position just before my Games. It does not matter to him though, as he has told me many times, just part of the role as a Victor.

His wife, Amethyst I think her name is, moved to District One after their marriage and does her job from there. I have met her a few times, when she has accompanied Gloss back to the Capital. She does adore him so much. But she is a Capitolite and thus has no idea of her husband's real job.

Tonight had been another night that we had been filmed. It is not awkward for us anymore; the hidden cameras that we know are there just get pushed to the back of our minds. We just fuck each other, for the least to be able to get distracted by something for a little while.

"You like carrots?" I call out as I go over to the refrigerator that is only opened when Finnick or I are here in the 'off-season', though it is always freshly stocked whenever I do open the door.

"Sure." Gloss's deep voice carries over to me and I grab a bag of them off the lower shelf. I chop a few of them up, tossing them into a pan along with slices of salmon I cut earlier and potatoes, frying all of it together. I wait at the stove until it is done, stirring occasionally so that they do not stick to the bottom of the pan.

Afterwards I dish it out onto two plates, bringing them both over and handing one to Gloss as I sit beside him on the couch, leaning into him out of habit. I just look at him for a bit, taking in his bare torso that I lean on, his disheveled hair. He is only clad in a pair of boxers, being too damn lazy to put pants on after we were done in bed. Red scratch marks are still apparent on his back from my hands. He looks down at me, a crocked half smile on his lips, his blue eyes narrowed at me. "What?"

"You just look really fucked up."

"Cause I am." He lowers his face down to mine, making a face before pulling away and refocusing on the television and his food. My shoulders shake for a few moments with silent laughter at him before I go back to eating my dinner.

;:;

"So are you crashing here?" I ask Gloss as I stand up from the couch and stretch my arms upwards, my back cracking slightly. Unlike me, he does have his own apartment in the Capital, though it is about a fifteen minute walk from where we are now.

"I think so, you can go on and get changed, I got the dishes." I nod before turning on my heel and walking towards my room. The plush white carpet feels soft on my foot, though I cannot feel it under the prosthetic. I remember the first time I actually saw carpet like this was here back when I was reaped. I remember walking up and down this hallway barefoot at night, just so the foreign feeling would distract my mind.

I enter my room and go into the bathroom, having to grip the wall for a moment as I slip slightly on the tile. I recover easily, going and grabbing my toothbrush. I go through my nightly routine. Brushing my teeth, brushing my hair, staring at the pills at is available to me that would maybe make the nightmares from coming. I only take them during the Games, so that my screams will not keep up our tributes, but now, I disregard them, not wanting to feel like the walking dead like I do whenever I take them and go sit down on the bed and begin to take off my leg when I hear the door open at the front of the apartment.

My mind vaguely notices the small change in that Gloss has shut off the kitchen sink before another voice fills the apartment.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Finnick's voice is harsh and I sigh as I stand back up. I quickly remember that I had already undone half of the buckle snaps that keep on my leg before I go crashing to the ground as it gives out underneath me.

My first thoughts are that if I stay down long, I'm vulnerable and could be easily attacked and killed, so I struggle to get up quickly. I try too quickly, and end up sprawled across the ground again before I remember that I'm not in the arena and can take my time, but by then the boys are in the room and Finnick reaches down to help me up.

"Get away from me!" I hiss out at me and he recoils, only standing off to the side by Gloss, who knows better than to try and help me and leans against the wall as he watches. I get myself up onto my foot, holding onto the bed for support until I sit back down, fully removing it and tossing it towards the corner of the room. "He" I point a finger towards Gloss, causing Finnick to look at him, "is here because we had work to do." Finnick's jaw clenches as he looks over Gloss and what he is wearing, or, lack of what he is wearing.

"He needs to leave, he has his own apartment." Finnick turns on his heel and stalks out of my bedroom. My gaze meets Gloss's and he just nods slightly before walking forwards and bending down to pick up his pants off the floor slipping them on, followed by his shirt, which I toss to him from where I had haphazardly thrown it earlier. We do not even say goodbye before he leaves.

;:;

The waves rock our small boat back and forth atop the water as I sit with my father. It is one of his rare days off, and he finally let in to my pleas of going out on the water, just the two of us.

"People are people Stell, always have been, always will be." I listen intently to his every word and nod my head. "We all really act the same to certain situations, for the most part." He looks over at me and grins, nodding his head towards the fishing net that we threw in the water about an hour ago. "Check that." I nod and my father straightens up fully, running a hand through his bronze hair.

I haul up the fishing net, which is not empty like it was when we threw it in; about seven fish have been captured inside. "Dad?" I call over and raise the net in question and he nods at me.

"That's good for today, your mother may be getting worried soon anyways."

"Cephas is kind of annoying." I joke with a laugh.

"Stell, don't talk about your brother that way." My father's calm voice causes me to feel remorse instantly.

"Sorry." I haul the net in the rest of the way; it lands in the middle of our boat with a thump. My father works on one of the large fishing rigs, but he does not get to keep any part of their catch, if we go out, like we are now, just ourselves, we can keep our catch. Usually. Peacekeepers can stop us and demand a part of what is going to be our evening meal.

He steers the boat back towards home, but as he near the shoreline, it is not District Four that I see. The ruins of an old city, from before the Dark Ages, looms before us. My arms begin to shake when I see the half collapsed skyscrapers, my leg aches when I see the bridge that collapsed halfway through the Games, while I was on it.

"Daddy." My voice is a horrified whisper and I look over to him, just to see his eyes roll back into his head and stop, just white orbs staring blankly back at me. Blood streams from his mouth as it opens and an ear piercing screech comes from what was my father. My breathing picks up rapidly as I turn and dive into the water, starting to swim swiftly through the water, away from the screams, and towards the shore. The T. That is where my mind tells me to go, find Reed, and get somewhere safe. Somewhere safer.

As I near the shore, I catch sight of him waiting for me. His tall frame stands out from the rubble, his hair dark tousled and his shirt ripped along the shoulder. His blue eyes brighten as he reaches down from the dock to help me up, but then I feel claws ripping my flesh and I let out a scream. I glance backwards to see the aquatic lizard mutation clawing its way up my leg. Bright yellow colors out of the water, the creatures are only about five inches long, but their claws are razor sharp and about half that length.

When my scream stops, I remember that this is not real. None of it. My father is dead. Cephas is dead. Reed is dead. I won my Games. I am safe from the arena. I force my subconscious self to let go of Reed's hand, letting him go once again, even though it is the last thing I want to do. I ignore what feels like very real pain, only letting out a sharp yell twice. I focus on slowing my breathing, closing my eyes so I cannot see anything.

When I open them again, I am back in my room in the training tower. I bring my knees up to my chest, my arms holding the bottom half of my leg to myself.

"I was enough for her, not long ago, I was her number one she told me so. I'd sail around the world for her, just so ya know so be careful when you hold my girl. Time changes everything life must go on; I'm not gunna stand in your way." The words softly come off my lips in a clipped and monotone voice. My father used to sing me the song whenever I had a bad dream; I guess old habits die hard. It is an old District Four song that is usually sung at weddings. My mother said when I was a baby it is the only song that I would quiet down for when I was upset. "You'll keep sailing away with her now, until the end of time. I loved her first, I held her first, and a place in my heart, will always be hers. Like the bright lighthouse tower, that helps you find home, she'll never let you feel alone." I do not let myself cry. I have not cried in the past six years, not since Reed died.

I just finish my song and push away any emotion that rises in me. I keep my face blank and starring at the wall across from me. So when the bed sags to one side, I am slightly surprised. I look over to see Finnick, worry on his face as he watches me. We do not say a word to each other. But I see the pity on his face he has for me.

His hand comes to rest on my shoulder, and I tell myself that the only reason why I let him touch me is because I am still disoriented from my nightmare. And then the words he mutters, almost so quietly I cannot hear him, they surprise me. "I just want to help you." A puff of air escapes my nose is a soft snort and I shake my head.

"I don't want help." We are both silent for a while, not saying a thing, and then I speak up again, "I don't need it, I've been like this for six years, it's not going to change."


	3. Chapter 3

My prep team stands by as I slip the dress on over my skin. I do not let them touch me though, as little physical contact as possible between us. I set up that rule a few years ago. I barely feel the fabric on my skin at all, but I am used to feeling exposed.

Tonight is different though.

All I have been put in is a bright blue and gold dress. It has no straps, and the fabric looks as though it has been slashed apart in the back, strings of gold and blue mixed in crossing along my back. It stops just above mid-thigh.

"Is there anything else?" I ask, my gaze drifting to my prep team. The leader of the trio, Bling smiles at me widely.

"Just the shoes Stell." I nod at her and she practically skips off to fetch them. Her bright yellow hair bouncing on her back. She returns after a few moments with a pair of two inch heels that I strap onto my feet after she hands them to me. "You look gorgeous, as always." I manage a tight smile for her, but they are used to my sullen nature by now, and she knows that I do appreciate their help.

They leave shortly after, leaving me alone in my room and I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. My car should be waiting downstairs to take me over to the mansion by now.

As I walk towards the door, the real me slowly fades away. The Stell that the Capital knows and loves starts to come out. I lift my chin higher on the way down in the elevator, when the doors open a dazzling smile appears on my face as I wave to people I do not even know. My car is outside, and I slip inside, greeting the driver warmly.

* * *

When we arrive, I already see all of the photographers lined up, snapping pictures of important figures and other Victors as they arrive. My driver opens my door and I stick out one leg first and then following it, waving at the cameras and the smile never leaving my face. I walk with my feet crossing almost in front of each other, my hips swaying back and forth as I go. Capital boys try to get a glimpse of the people invited to the party, and when I make eye contact with one, I wink at him. His jaw falls open and I laugh lightly.

"Stell! Stell how are things going for you since the Games?" I hear a reporter call out to me and I turn my attention somewhat to him.

"Things are going fine, they were good kids." They were better than good kids, they were great. They did not deserve to be slaughtered. But those thoughts do not pass my lips. Only what they want to hear, what they expect.

I go through the threshold to the mansion and am taken away at home extravagant it is. Perfectly polished white tile floors, chandeliers made of diamonds hang from the ceilings; avoxs go around, offering food and drink to the guests. As one passes, I grab a glass of something and down it quickly and almost gag at the burning sensation that the liquor causes. Another avox goes by, I do not see what is on her tray, but I put my glass down on it nonetheless.

I let a loud whoop pass through my lips, causing attention to be immediately attracted to myself. "Who wants to dance?" I can barely hear my own shout over the music, but people manage to hear me.

I look behind me as I feel a tap on my shoulder and force a smile on my face when I see Alexia Cartworth. His slicked back green hair is rather obnoxious, but I do not comment on it. He has bout me several times over the years.

"Hello darling" he whispers it in my ear as he brings his face closer, and then offers me his hand and then I let him lead me out onto the dance floor, keeping me close as we move to the music.

"I was rather, _disappointed_ when I was told you were unavailable for the evening." I do not let the surprise show on my face. I was not informed that I was unavailable; I thought that I was just going to be surprised later on with a client.

"Yes, I am catching the late train home tonight." The lie slips from my lips easily and I try to focus on other things as his hands drift down my body. It disgusts me, because I know that he is a true married man, with children at his home.

I catch a glimpse of bronze hair and my eyes lock on to it, following it until I see Finnick. I vaguely wonder how long he has been here. Our gazes lock and he just nods at me. He already has a Capital lady on his arm, just like I am already stuck with a man myself.

* * *

It is hours later that I finally find myself alone on the outside patio. My hands grip the railing as I look out over the Capital, the lights shining so brightly I cannot make out the stars. It always unnerves me, how you cannot see them. The stars have always been there for me to look at during the night.

I remember my younger self sitting out late on the docks, my feet in the warm ocean water, looking up at the stars and listening to the wave's crash on the shore. My mother would find me there sometimes, huddled up looking at the sky. She would sit down and tell me how the stars and the souls of those who have died and they are looking down on us.

Those moments were the only times I felt like my mother actually cared for Cephas and I.

Even in the arena the stars were there, I would sit atop one of the ruins when it was safe, and just look at them. I knew they were fake, just projections that the gamemakers put up, but it still gave me comfort.

Some nights I even allow myself to believe that the words my mother told me over a decade ago are true, and that they all just look down at us. Her, my father, Cephas, Reed, Poppy, Jade, Michael. Even those who were in my own Games. But I do not even get my stars when I am here.

The sound of laughter closer to the door that leads back inside causes me to look behind myself. I can see the outlines of people through the billowy white curtains, and the curtain is slightly moved before the door opens to the outside. Finnick walks outside, grinning at me and not closing the door all the way. I know for a fact that it will drift open again. So that people will be able to see us.

His eyes glint with something I have only seen a few times as he comes over and rests his hands on my hips. "Ready to get this thing started?" he whispers by my ear. We have never been this close to each other, and I really want to punch him and get him off me, but I cannot do that. Not right now. So I just nod.

His lips meet mine and my hands go up and run through his bronze hair as one of his calloused hands finds the back of my neck, holding me close to him. I hear gasps from people, but we ignore them, Finnick taking my bottom lip between his teeth for a moment before letting it go.

My hands now clutch at the fabric of his suit, and after I see flashes for a few moments, he yanks me away from him roughly. I look at the cameras in surprise, but do not let go of Finnick. His reaction surprises me, looking at me with hard eyes before practically shoving me behind him, out of view from the cameras. It is when they start shouting questions at us that we make a break for it.

We do not have time to get in a cab, so I let Finnick guide me along the back streets of the Capital. As soon as we stop running I pull away from him, glaring up at him. "Don't you ever put your hands on my ass again." I'm angry, and when I am angry, my accent because rancidly prominent.

"It gets the point across to them." Finnick's harsh words snap back in my face and I consider punching him.

"Pretty sure us making out gets the fucking point across mate."

"Stell, calm down." I open my mouth but he cuts me off before I can continue. "We have to wait out here for a bit, just." He pauses and bites his lip for a moment. "Tell me about yourself." The Finnick I know is back, a happy light in his eyes as he grins at me.

"What?!" I am pretty sure my jaw is hanging open after his sentence. That is the last thing I want to do right now, is have a heart to heart with my old mentor.

"_I_ have an interview with Caesar tomorrow morning, so obviously this," he waves his finger between the two of us, "will come up." I let out a huff and glare at him.

"You do not know anything about me."

"Exactly."

"I want it to stay that way." His eyes roll at me and his shoulders sag.

"Well, it can't, so spill." I raise my eyebrows at him, wondering what exactly he wants to know. "How'd you grow up?"

"With my parents and my brother. Dad took shifts on one of the secondary fishing rigs and Mum worked the morning shifts at the hatchery." The image of the alleyway we stand in disappears; I do not see Finnick leaning up against the wall besides a trash barrel, but my family's faces. "Cephas and I were twins, but I was born first, so he was always my little brother. Mum and us were never very close, she, she was pressured into having children by Dad. So I think she never really saw us as hers that much, we were our father's kids." I do not know why this is all spilling out of my mouth, but I have not talked to anyone about my family since my interview with Caesar, before my own Games. So it just all starts to come out. In the back of my mind, I blame the liquor that I had consumed throughout the night for my loose lips. "She was still our mother, cooked our meals, and took care of us if we were sick. But it was always my father who was the main parent. They both instilled a great discipline with respecting others and manners though." I hear Finnick scoff and my focus gets reinstated on him.

"You did everything but respect me when I first met you." His eyes roll again and his shoulders shake with laughter, "If I recall correctly, your first words to me were 'Don't you fucking touch me, you shit eating whore.'" I manage to laugh slightly, vaguely surprised he remembers that.

"I don't like you." I point out to him and he scoffs.

"Don't worry _seashell _the feelings mutual." My eyes widen at him as he uses the nickname that he pegged to me when I was first reaped all those years ago-much to my disapproval. For some reason, I always noticed how he has never called another tribute seashell since me.

"I _will _hurt you if you start calling me that again." I threaten him seriously.

"I don't doubt that for a second."

* * *

By the time I get back home in District Four the photos of Finnick and I are all over magazines and television. Front covers show shots of the two of us out on the balcony, not once in the whole thing does it mention a word about the "Star Crossed Lovers of District Twelve". Television show hosts talk for hours on what this means for the two of us, and for District Four.

Many pick up on how "Mr. Odair is clearly very controlling in this relationship, if his rough handling of his former tribute says anything". I scoff at the things I see everywhere and refuse to talk on the phone to anyone on the telephone. After the thing constantly rings for a solid ten minutes straight, I rip it out of the wall before going and landing with a huff on my couch, removing my leg and tossing it precariously to the side.

My mind drifts to Finnick's words about my first words to him. A ghost of a smile almost comes on my face, but it does not quiet surface.

* * *

6 Years Earlier

"Stell! Cephas! You're going to be late!" My father's voice booms up the stairs at us and I look at myself once more in the cracked mirror that stands in the room I share with Cephas against the wall. My tan trousers hang loosely off my slim frame while the white button up blouse fits my upper body tightly. The pants are a pair that Cephas outgrew a few months ago, and the blouse is one of my mother's old ones. The past years for the reaping I would wear a dress, like the other girls, but I outgrew it this past fall and we could not afford a new one for me, or for one of my mother's to be hemmed.

"Come on Stell." Cephas comes up behind me, hitting me lightly in the shoulder before making his way towards the stairs. I follow after him, descending them and skipping the whole in the middle of the stairs where the step had collapsed in a few months ago. We never got around to fixing it either. Our parents are dressed in their formal attire and waiting for us downstairs.

We do not say a word to each other as we make our way out the door. After a few paces my father looks over at me. "Do you have plans for afterwards Stell?" I nod my head at him and he raises an eyebrow in question.

"I'm meeting some friends down by the docks."

"I do not want to have you escorted home by a peacekeeper again, do you understand me?" His voice is harsh towards me and I fight off a smirk. Not my fault the peacekeepers don't know how to have fun. Last time all we were doing was playing a game of tag. It wasn't that bad.

Only that we were buzzed at the time and our 'tags' were full out tackles of each other, but hey, it didn't matter to us. But apparently we were disturbing the peace and when I tried to tell them to go away, they just grabbed me and escorted me back home to talk with my father about my 'continuous unruly behavior'. I only get escorted home once a month, maybe twice, sometimes three times. I just look back and my father and nod though.

"Yes sir."

We continue our little procession towards District Four's town square. When we reach our destination by father embraces Cephas and I both once, while our mother just inclines her head towards us. No words are spoken, and Cephas' hand finds mine silently. I hold fast to it, giving it a squeeze that he returns as we check in together.

We stop briefly before we part from one another, pressing a quick kiss to the other's cheek. Most siblings in Four do it before they separate before the Reaping. Just a quick sign of good luck.

I turn my back on my brother as I make my way towards the middle of the mass of girls. I join the end of a row in the section designated for sixteen year old girls. The girl I stand besides I do not know very well. I only know that he name is Aura, and that she was in my history class back when I was in fifth grade. We only make eye contact once before looking away.

My eyes rake over the boys section across from mine. I catch sight of my group of friends, all standing together. Riptide has a boyish grin across his face, as always, and bumps his shoulder against Fred's as they pass by. Crest rolls his blue eyes at our friend before his eyes meet mine and he nods his head slightly, mouthing the words 'Good luck' to me. My lips form the words 'You too' but no sound comes out and he nods in thanks. I see a glimpse of Ebb and Fetch standing by Cephas, all their faces void of emotion. Our group of friends is larger, though the older boys stand more upfront. My eyes drift towards where they would be standing, but I can only make out a few, who of I cannot recognize from the back.

My mother always found it strange that I never really had any other friends who were of the same sex as myself. I just never really thought about it before. I was always hanging around with Cephas when we were in grade school. Kids used to make fun of him sometimes, so I would protect him. We just ended up having the same friends. The teasing got to Cephas when he was around nine, and he started working on the docks more, building muscle and keeping himself well groomed. He did not get bullied after that, and I saw no interest to make friends outside of those in our already firm set group. So I just stay with the boys.

My gaze settles back on the stage as our District Escort, Mandy Riflour, walks up the steps. Her frivolous pink hair bothers me a lot more than it should, and it bounces up and down as she walks across the stage in ridiculously tall high heels. Her dark green dress just makes her look like a dried up piece of kelp. I snicker at the comparison as our mayor comes forward and taps the microphone to get our attention, causing a loud squeak to fill up the square.

I cover my ears and groan loudly along with most others before it stops.

"Sorry about that." He apologizes before launching right into the same spiel he gives every reaping. I tune myself out during that, not wanting to hear it and already knowing every word of what he is saying. When I make myself pay attention again, he is just finishing. "In past Hunger Games, District Four has produced many Victors, though, as of today, only two of them are still alive. Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you Mags Vandalia, Victor of the Ninth Hunger Games, and Finnick Odair, Victor of the Sixty Fifth Hunger Games!" I clap along with the crowd, thou with less enthusiasm than most, as the two take the stage.

I know Mags to be in her late seventies and have seen her from time to time around the District. My friends and I respect the old woman, who came from the same part of the District that we do. The run down, poor section of District Four. But Finnick. Finnick Odair is only a year older than me; I can even remember seeing him at school when we were younger sometimes. The son of a wealthy fisherman, we were not very surprised when he won his Games, though his skill with a trident was unexpected. His family had money; he did not have to work on the fishing rigs and docks like the rest of us if he did not want to.

But now he is Panem's Playboy as I have heard some people put it, and spends most of his time in the Capital. I do not know exactly what he does, but I have heard rumors. Rumors that I would not be surprised about, if I found they were true.

I hear a few girls sigh around me as they see him and I scoff aloud. "Oh calm down." I snap at them and many around me give me apprehensive looks. Everyone knows that I hang out with the 'Sea Rats Gang' as some kids from the better part of the District have pegged us, and they tend to give me my space. Even with my words to them, I cannot deny that Odair is attractive.

Our Victors take their seats and then our escort practically bounds up to the microphone.

"Happy Hunger Games everyone!" the way she constantly looks around and smiles reminds me somewhat of an otter. "It's just great to see all of you again! As always, ladies first!" I roll my eyes as she goes up to the glass ball that has thousands of slips in them, filled with the names of all the girls between the ages of twelve and eighteen in District Four inside. Thirty six of those slips have mine on them.

I watch as her hand dips deep into the bowl, digging around a bit before pulling out a slip. Mandy practically skips back to the microphone, clearing her throat as she unfolds the slip.

"Stellar Mere!" I purse my lips together and feel my eyebrows raise slightly when I hear my name called out. _Well shit._ I turn and start walking towards the stage, going all the way around all the girls and then walking up, glaring at the peacekeepers as they approach me. I focus my gaze up on stage as I go up the steps. I see Mandy's eyes widen as she takes in my outfit. I give her a tight smile before standing beside the ball of slips, looking out to the crowd.

My eyes scan the boys and I lock eyes with Cephas. His tight set jaw, the frown on his face. I can already tell what he is thinking. I do not even pay attention to our escort walking over to the boys glass ball.

"Don't volunteer. Don't volunteer. Don't volunteer." My lips form the words over and over again at Cephas. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Finnick watching me carefully.

"Reed Baltic!" I involuntarily do a sharp intake of breath when his name is called. I see Cephas look down at his shoes and I look over to see him. Reed Baltic, one of the eighteen year olds, is one of my closest friends. His tall, broad frame sticks out instantly as he comes up. He keeps his head high, his dark brown hair falling slightly into his face.

His gaze finds mine as he ascends the stairs and then goes over to stand over by his reaping bowl.

"I present to you, your tributes in the Sixty Eighth Annual Hunger Games!" Mandy looks over at both of us and smiles. "Go on, shake hands." Reed and I take two steps towards each other and grasp each other's hand tightly.

"Stell" Reeds deep voice is slightly amused. Of course he finds it amusing that we both got reaped.

"Reed" I grin slightly at him. I let our hands drop and then peacekeepers surround us, ushering us into the Justice Building.

My family is the first to come into my room. Cephas coming forwards in three long strides and wrapping me in an embrace. I return it instantly, holding him tighter than he holds me.

"You're going to be fine, you can win."

"I know." Because really, what else could I say. So we just lie to each other. "I can win."

He lets go of me and nods at me before letting my parents come forward. My father is the next to embrace me. Running his hand over my hair, neither of us saying a word for a few moments, before he starts talking quickly. "Remember what I've told you. People are people Stell. You're smart, you can figure things out. Just come home." I nod curtly to him before looking at my mother.

We do not hug each other. We just stare. "I guess you got escorted home one too many times." Her voice is not the firm tone that I am so used to. She sounds devastated. I grin a little at her.

"I guess so."

Peacekeepers barge into the room, telling my family their three minutes are up and they leave without protest. Only my brother looks back at me for a moment.

I get about thirty seconds of silence before I hear yelling and the door is opened and seven boys rush into the room. Riptide is the fastest of them all and hugs me first, lifting me off my feet. "You give'em hell." His voice is harsh in my ear and I just nod before he puts me down. Ebb is the next to hug me, then Fred, Crest, Sawyer, Gleb, and finally Amos. The only words of comfort I get from them is that I can win it, not that I should come, because when it's Reed and I, how can I expect them to pick between the two of us. The answer is simple. I can't.

Once they leave, there is no one else to say goodbye to, so I am escorted to the train. Once I am inside the main compartment of the train, which has a food bar off to the side and a table as well with couches and chairs, I just stand there. I do not know what I am supposed to do now, and I have no clue where my mentors or escort are. Reed is still saying goodbye to his friends and loved ones. His family is much larger than mine. I walk forward, my feet practically sinking into the thick carpet like the sand on the beach. The walls of the train and a deep colored wood, with silver trim on the top and bottom. The chairs a deep blue. I run my hand over the fabric and marvel for a moment on how smooth it is.

I wander towards the window, being able to see the ocean from this side of the train. The waves crash against the rock, causing the white spray to make the air seem to shine as the sun rays reflect off the water droplets. I do not know how long I stare out the window before I hear the door slide open. I turn around and see Reed walk inside and quickly rush towards him in five long strides across the room.

"We'll be fine." I scoff and pull away to look at him.

"Don't you lie to me Baltic." He shrugs at me.

"Fine then, we're both going to die."

"Just one of us." I point out and he nods before looking around the room, his hands still on my shoulders.

"This place is fucking amazing."

"Fucking ridiculous."

"And you wonder why you got reaped?" his nose almost touches mine and when he suddenly goes cross eyed I burst into laughter. He pulls away grinning and grabs my hand, "We are exploring." He tells me before dragging me down and into another car.

That night as we sit around the table for dinner, I still have yet to see Finnick. Mags and Mandy sit across from Reed and I as we eat our food. I'm just about to put a spoonful of something that Mags told me was onion soup when I feel someone put their hands on my shoulders and hot breath by my ear. "Hey gorgeous." Finnick's voice is right by my ear and I stiffen.

"Don't you fucking touch me, you shit eating whore." My voice comes out cold and Mandy's fork drops from her hand as a squeak escapes her. Mags eyes are wide, and Reed just laughs. Finnick is quiet for a moment, though his hands stay on my shoulders. "Did you not hear me? Or do you need your ears checked?" I turn my head slightly to the side and see him grinning at me. He pats my shoulders and then straightens up.

"I like you seashell." I raise my eyebrows at the nickname and am about to say something, when I feel Reed's hand on my knee. I look over at him and he smirks slightly.

"Just leave it." His voice is low and hushed, he calms me down immediately. So I just nod, turning back to my food and ignoring Finnick for the rest of our time eating.

* * *

Present Day

Before I know it, I am up in my room again, digging through my dresser drawer until I spot the picture frame. I do not even remember putting my leg back on, but I do not really care.

My thumb slides along the glass that protects the photo. The picture is of Reed and me, from before the arena, before the reaping. We sit on the sand together; I am in his lap, my back against his chest with his arms wrapped around me. His mouth is close to my ear, whispering something as I laugh.

I look so damn _happy _in that moment. My heart vaguely tries to remember how it feels to be happy, but it has not felt that in a very long time. The picture is one that I found on my doorstep a few weeks after returning home from the Capital. After my family had been murdered. I had just opened the door one day and found it there.

I have a pretty good guess of who could have left it for me though. One of the boys. Their still alive, I have not talked to them since I returned, but I have seen them around. Heard of how they are doing. Most are married, some even have children. But out of all of them, I am fairly certain that Riptide was the one who left me the picture. He was always our undesignated leader of the group.

I feel a deep pang in my chest and realize how much I miss them. They are not my friends anymore though. I do not even know them.

I toss the picture gently so that it lands on my bed and run down the stairs and out the door. I am sprinting down the sandy streets barefoot before I even really have formed the idea in my head. I focus on the pounding of my feet on the ground. My fake leg aches slightly, but I ignore it, the pain is insignificant compared to what I have felt before.

My feet take me to my old neighborhood and I race past our old home, which legally still belongs to me, without a second glance at it. I stand on the doorstep a few minutes later, chest heaving, as I bite my lip as I think. From what I have heard, he lives here.

My hand rises up and I wrap on the door a few times with my knuckles. His house is nice. Not run down like most in this area. It is only a single story, and some of the paint is chipping off on the edges. No one cares about things as small as that though; we have bigger things to worry about.

My attention snaps back to the doorway as the door is opened and I do a double take at the boy standing before me. Green eyes contrast with tan skin and they are wide as they stare up at me. His brown hair is exactly the color that Riptides was, and for some reason, I am surprised by that. I also recognize that I have interrupted their dinner, but I do not care.

"Who is it bud?" My gaze goes from the terrified looking boy to the back of the home, which I cannot see in due to its layout, when I hear my old friend's voice. I hear heavy footsteps coming closer and then I see him. He still looks about the same, his hair is longer than before, and he also has more muscle. Though the way he stands gives away that his balance is more towards the back, tackling him would be the easiest way to take him out.

I close my eyes briefly when I realize what I was thinking. Always thinking about how to defend myself. Always on guard.

"Stell?" his voice is confused when he asks me.

"We need to talk." My voice is clipped and he frowns at me, but nods.

"Cephas, go tell your mom I'm-" he does not get to finish his sentence though. My body reacted before I even knew what I was doing. Grabbing him by the collar and slamming him against his house, my forearm against his throat.

"Tell me you didn't!" My voice is low at first, but when he does not respond, only staring at me with wide eyes, my temper flares. "Tell me you fucking didn't name him that!" I am screaming at him now, but I don't care.

"Stell, he was my best friend." Riptide finally finds his voice, and I'm vaguely aware of his wife and kids watching us from his doorway.

"And he was my little brother!" I snap, "You had no right, no right to name your son after him!" We are both silent for a moment before I think of something else. "You could have at least asked me first." My voice is low now and he cannot hold eye contact any longer with me. He looks down at his shoes with a smirk.

"Aren't you too busy fucking Capital men for me to come ask you?" It's like a blow to the gut, and he knows it, so he keeps going. "Fucking Odair, heard you fuck that Victor from One too, doing whatever the Capital asks of you, living an easy life while we all suffer-"

"If you have a brain in that thick skull of yours I'd shut the hell up before I snap your neck!"

"Stell!" I ignore the voice, still seething at Riptide.

"You just live the perfect life don't you Stell, you just get up, eat, relax, nothing really to do, you don't deal-" His sentence gets cut off when my fist collides with his face. And it feels _so good _to finally punch someone. I hear his wife scream and his kids gasp, but I can't find in it me to care at all, I really don't care about a lot of things.

"I deal with a hell of a lot more shit in a day than you have your whole damn life Riptide! You have no _idea_ what I go through, how _hard_" my fist keeps connecting with his face until I feel hands on my shoulders, pulling me away.

"Stell, Stell, calm down." Finnick's voice is hushed, but right besides my head so I can hear him clearly. His grip turns tighter on me before he physically rips me off of Riptide, who slips down the wall to the ground, cupping his face in his hands. "Come on, let's get you home." I feel my nostrils flare as I let out a deep breath.

I turn on my heel quickly before striding away towards Victor's Village, Finnick following me from behind, his hand hovering over my back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the wait, this would have been up earlier, but my horse coliced on friday and had to be in the hospital till yesterday evening. So, heres the new chapter!**

One month: Everything that I hear on the television is about us. All it is is how Stell and Finnick are finally together. The Capital people are happy and satisfied with only a few kisses, for now, and so is President Snow.

I still do not like it though. The feeling of his arm around my shoulders. His lips on mine. My hand in his. It feels wrong, I feel like I am betraying the dead. I do not like that feeling. But I keep a smile on my face none-the-less, I return his kisses, and I hold his hand back tighter than I am supposed to.

It all makes me furious at him, which I show him once we are out of view from the cameras. I slap him, hard, across the face. And he just stands there and takes it, because he knows it is what I need. And that just makes me angrier, because he knows what I need, and he does not know anything about me.

Two months: Finnick knows more about me now. It was inevitable with this whole situation, and I still do not like it. He has only learned a few things though. He knows the area of the District where I grew up, to which he surprisingly asked me if I really was a 'sea rat'. I told him that I still am a sea rat. The run down homes, with their wood starting to rot from the salt water that hits them, and the interior floors that always have a thin layer of sand on them, will always be considered my home.

He learned that I only have cream in my coffee, which irked me slightly when he remembered. He found a picture of my family in my home. He had brought it over and lifted it up for me to see, raising his eyebrows slightly.

"That's my family." My voice had been short and cutting, but he ignored it.

"How come I never see them?" It was a question he should have known the answer to. I had glared at him, and then my gaze had drifted to the chandelier hanging from the ceiling, the same one that Cephas had been hanging from.

"Because they've been dead for five and a half years." He had not said anything to that just put the picture back gently where he had found it. He had surprised me by coming and sitting next to me though. His arm went around my shoulders in a hug, and I had surprisingly let him for a second. Before I realized that I appreciated the act, and I pulled back. "Don't"

"Don't what?" he had asked it softly, moving my chin so I had to look into his eyes.

"We don't have to when there are no cameras. You can't just come into someone's life, suddenly make them feel special, and then leave."

"What if I'm not planning to leave you?"

"You did before, if a person's done something once, they'll do it again."

"But I'm not going to." He looked hurt at what I had pointed out. How he did leave me to deal with all of my shit by myself. "Not again."

Three months: "Stell!" I hear his footsteps running around my house downstairs, but I still do not answer him, my eyes glued to the picture that just fell off the table. "Stell!" I hear him rushing up the stairs; he has never been upstairs in my home before. I still do not look up though.

My eyes stay trained on the backside of the picture that is surrounded by the glass that shattered from the frame it was in. My door swings open and I vaguely see two bronze bare feet come into view. "Stell?" I must look crazy to him, standing in the middle of my room, glass surrounding me, some pieces stuck in my feet, starring at a photograph.

I see him come closer and look up at him as he kneels down and starts to pick up the glass from the floor. He places the pieces on my nightstand, and then he picks up the picture carefully, and flips it over so he can look at it.

He looks at it for a long time. I do not know if he is surprised, if he never knew how close Reed and I really were, but I know he has never seen the picture of us on the beach. My words snap his gaze away from the picture. "Is it scratched?" I hate how my voice sounds, I sound like I am about to cry. I have not cried, not one tear, in six years.

"No, no it's fine." He looks up and smiles at me. "I never knew you two were this close, never thought since you-" he stops himself before finishing his sentence.

"Since I killed him myself?" I finish for him, the scene coming back into my vision from my mind.

Running through the city's ruined square, the Career pack running somewhere behind me. But they were not behind me anymore, they had let me get away already, but how was I supposed to know that?

Naturally I threw my trident at the first human that I saw. When I watch recaps though, it seems like I knew exactly what I was doing. That I _knew _that was Reed. But I did not, not until I heard him cry out. I had rushed to him, caught him as he feel. Cried my heart out that I was sorry, that I loved him.

He had laughed and said I had fantastic aim. Said he planned on dying anyways, he was just glad I was there.

"Hey, Stell." Finnick's voice brings me out of the memory and I see him standing in front of me. "It's okay to cry over it, I know you never have."

"It's not okay, I'll break down."

"Maybe that's what you need."

"No, once you break, it takes ten times as long to put yourself back together; I don't have that kind of time."

"When have you ever broken?"

"Long time ago, Reed put me back together." We are both silent after that, until Finnick looks down at my feet, bleeding with glass shards stuck in them.

"Let's get you cleaned up."

It is while I sit on the bathroom counter, Finnick dabbing alcohol onto my cuts, that I let the words I have wanted to tell him for years come out.

"You told me I was heartless you know. Actually it was, you don't have a soul, but, same thing." His motions stop and he looks up to my face.

"W-when did I ever say that?"

"After the recap, we were back in our room and you came in drunk. I don't even know what brought it on, just start screaming at me. Screaming that I was a monster, that I didn't care, that I didn't have a soul since I killed Reed. And I believed every word you said. I found my family dead when I got home the next day."

Four months: Finnick and I are, friends, I guess. Something changed that night the picture shattered. But we have bigger problems now.

We are not being enough. Focus is going back to District Twelve. Snow found a way to inform us that we had to try harder. So we do.

We even make a trip to the Capital together. And when in public, we are all over each other. When we walk, his mouth is all over my neck. We stop on the sidewalk for Finnick to push me up against a building to just kiss me.

We even go as far as to leave a table at a restaurant, and make sure that people see Finnick lead me into the men's room and kick out anyone who was in there before locking the door. After that we just joked around for about thirty minutes.

Finnick told me a story of a turtle stealing his hat, when I asked him to describe what the turtle looked like I told him I had killed that one a month ago. Its shell is now a nice bowl. He told me he thought he saw it the other day. I was surprised when I almost found myself laughing.

Five months: The flickering street lamp that I am crouched under suddenly goes out, leaving me in complete darkness except for the moon that the gamemakers have given us for tonight. My hand tightens around the hilt of my trident that lies across my lap. I lift myself back up into a stand, now is as good a time as any to keep moving.

There are only three of us left anyways. Morris from District Two, and Cricket, from District Seven, are the only other two who are still in here with me. One of them has to be close by; there is no other reason as to why the lamp would die all of a sudden. My logic tells me that it was going to die soon anyways, but there is no logic in the Games.

There should not be clams in the fresh water lake a few miles from me, but there are.

The only sound I can hear is my own footfalls on the rubble, the crunch of the dirt and rocks as they get kicked along. I stop at the sound of feet skidding around a corner. I look around frantically when a cannon goes off and Cricket's face appears in the sky. And then, just because I do not really care all that much anymore, I run straight towards where I hear the feet coming from.

I more run into than tackle Morris to the ground. I feel my trident get knocked away in the process and curse myself for forgetting I had it in my hands. The huge boy is not expecting me though, so I am able to get him down and on him. Though it only takes a second for him to realize what is going on and pin me under him, giving me a swift punch to the jaw before looking around wildly.

"Whatcha looking for bud?" my words come out ragged just as I see a pair of glowing eyes appear from around a building. "They won't get us now, it's more entertaining if we fight, just us. Not them." But the boy ignores me, standing up and delivering a swift kick to the gut before leaving me.

The creatures that come out of the darkness make me vomit. The face of what reminds me of a cat, long hair comes off of its neck to form a mane. But its neck is long, and it snakes back and forth as it comes closer to me on its short legs.

I scream when it pounces on me, digging its teeth into my side. My body curls in on itself to one side in a weak attempt of protection. Another one latches onto my leg and shakes it back and forth, and I feel it get yanked out of its socket, I feel a bone snap in two. One continuous scream just keeps coming from my mouth until I run out of air as I become a living meal.

I snap out of my nightmare suddenly, sitting up in bed and curling in on myself. "I was enough for her, not long ago, I was her number one she told me so. I'd sail around the world for her, just so ya know so be careful when you hold my girl. Time changes everything life must go on; I'm not gunna stand in your way." I hear my front door fly open and bang off of the wall, followed by someone running up the stairs. . "You'll keep sailing away with her now, until the end of time. I loved her first, I held her first, and a place in my heart, will always be hers. Like the bright lighthouse tower, that helps you find home, she'll never let you feel alone. I hoped that she'd find you someday, but it's still hard to give her away. I loved her first." I feel Finnick sit down on my bed and bring me close to him. "How could that beautiful woman with you, be the same freckled face kid I once knew. The one that I took out on the water each day, doing whatever she wanted to. I knew the first time I saw you with her, it was only a matter of time. So you have to make this one promise to me, that you'll steer her safely from this family."

I stop my song there, focusing on the feeling of Finnick's arms around me. I don't know why, but I move closer to him. And that's when I realize that I trust him. I don't hate him anymore. Because he's been nothing but nice to me all these months. He pulls me closer to that I'm in his lap and I wrap my arms around his bare torso, resting my head on his bare chest. I ignore the fact that he is only in boxers, which he was probably sleeping in, and that I am in only shorts and a sports bra.

"You were never like this before. I noticed you before you were reaped. I saw you with your group, and when you were reaped, I knew you were going to be the Victor." He whispers the words in my ear and I don't respond. "I wish you were the way you seemed then, you were happy."

"Pain changes people." I mumble the words into him.

"I know, we know better than anybody." I lift my face up to see him already looking down at me. I feel his hand on the side of my face, and for the first time, I'm nervous with him. But I stay still, letting him run his thumb down my cheek before he runs it over my lips.

I become acutely aware of our position. How I am right in his lap. How close my chest is to his. How my arms are now around his neck.

He is the one who moves closer though, pressing his lips to mine. For the first time we are not forced, there are no cameras. That thought surprises me so much that I don't kiss him back, and he pulls away.

"I'm sorry, I, just-" I lean up towards him and cut off his words. He kisses me back immediately. It's slow, and it makes something stir inside me that I have never felt before. And it ends all too quickly. "I should go."

"You should stay." He eyes me carefully and I lean over a bit and pat the bed. "It's too big for one person."

"I'd have to say I agree with you."

A few minutes later, right before I fall asleep with Finnick's arm splayed over my side, I remember to tell him one more thing.

"That was my first kiss you know." I feel him run a hand through my hair once.

"What? No."

"Yeah, the first one that wasn't forced, that I didn't have to give."


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it's been so long for me to update this story! Life's been busy. My horse got colic a few weeks ago while I was riding him and had to spend a week in the hospital, luckily no surgery and we're already back to competing. So I've been spending all day working at the barn and riding. Hopefully updates will get more regular now! Thanks to all who have followed, favorite, and especially reviewed!**

When I wake up in the morning, I panic. The feeling of someone's arms around me instinctively causes my mind to think that I was with a client last night. I jerk to get up, but they tighten around me. I feel a hand pressing into the small of my back, holding me in place securely.

My mind registers the smell of the ocean and mint and the sand. It's Finnick. My body stays tight, and I feel the other hand that's on my hip start to draw circles around my hip bone, then down to where my body stops, my leg gone.

My breathing still stays rapid as my eyes adjust to the light that's coming in through the window.

"Shhh" Finnick's voice is still rough with sleep and I look down at him to see his eyes aren't even open yet. "You're fine." His lips are curved up slightly in a smile.

"Let me up." My words come out softly, and he lets go immediately as I slip out of bed. I feel his eyes watching me as I hop across the room to the chair I have placed by my dresser, slipping on my leg easily before standing up.

I wince, since the first few steps send jolts of pain shooting up my leg, but it evens out. You do get used to the initial pain after a while.

"Can't they fix it so it doesn't hurt?" I look to see Finnick sitting up, an eyebrow quirked.

"They won't, and I don't ask them for help."

"Of course you don't." He grins at me, getting up and walking past me towards the stairs. "I'll make breakfast."

;;:;;

I come back from the docks later that day to see Finnick outside my house, yelling at peacekeepers. He motions wildly with his hands towards the front door of my home, which is promptly being guarded.

"Why won't you just fucking let me inside!" He lounges towards one, fist raised. He doesn't get very far before crumpling to the ground.

"Finnick!" My voice does not come out hysterical, just like I'm calling out to him, my strides lengthening so I get there quickly.

"Ms Mere." I look to the peacekeeper, leaving Finnick on the ground. He squirms as I narrow my eyes at him.

"What?"

"Follow us please, someone would like to speak to you." He glances down at Finnick, who is just starting to stand up, "Privately." I nod curtly before being lead into my house. Peacekeepers, which are not from Four, since I do not recognize them, flank me from behind and in front of me.

I am lead to my study, of which I almost never use, and the peacekeeper to my right opens it and beckons me inside. The potent smell of blood and roses invade my nostrils immediately, and I fight to keep my lip from curling up in disgust.

President Snow sits behind my desk, looking down at a picture that he holds in his hands. I hear the door shut behind me, but I do not move. He looks up and a smile spreads across his face, my jaw sets.

"Oh my dear Stellar, won't you have a seat?" he motions to the chair across from him.

"I'd prefer to stand thank you." My words are biting and his eyebrows rise.

"Very well then. I assume you are wondering why I am here, is that correct?"

"I assume it isn't because you missed me." He laughs darkly at my crude response. I catch a glimpse of my late brother's face in the picture he holds.

"I always miss you my dear, but I do have." He strokes his thick beard with a finger as he thinks. "_Important _matters to discus."

"No mean to be rude here, but can we get to the point. If I recall correctly, we agreed to skip the pleasantries last we spoke."

"Of course, it slipped my mind. Stellar, you're a smart girl that is how you managed to win despite my efforts in the Games to kill you. So you must have some inkling on the unrest that is in the Districts. It was your job, and Mister Odair's to try and keep it down. And for a while, you succeeded. You see, but when you go and attack peacekeepers," I flinch inwardly and he grins. "yes, well, that does not make you seem very subordinate to the Capital, to me, does it?"

I want to gag at the smell of blood and roses which seems to just be growing stronger, but I keep it back. "It does not."

"So you do see. I came to your District for help with this minor inconvenience that is Miss Everdeen, because, do you know how we put out a fire Stellar?"

"With water." My answer is immediate. And then it clicks for me. He is using water, District Four, to put out the fire, District Twelve. I shift uncomfortably in my spot, the ache growing where my leg meets my fake one.

"Exactly, I think highly of you my dear. You have been so cooperative with me these past few years." He smiles and it makes me want to vomit. He places the picture in his hands back, facing me, showing me the faces of my dead family.

"Well, you do have heavy consequences for those who do not do as you request." I get an eyebrow raised at me and I step forward, resting my hands on the desk. "And it would please me greatly now, if you would show yourself to the door." I push off the desk and turn my back to him, only stopping for a moment to turn back to see him glaring at me. "I trust you know how to show yourself out."

;;::;;

Finnick presses a kiss to my cheek as we enter the Justice Building, filled and brimming with guests and activity. Everyone's dressed in their best, our best seafood dishes are out to offer. It is a Victory Tour party after all.

As usual, neither Finnick nor myself attended the ceremony and listened Katniss and Peeta give their speeches. It is not our place to intrude where we are not needed, but we do have to make an appearance here.

I wear one of my many dresses. The slightly tan fabric makes my skin color stand out against my blonde hair. The long sleeves are puffed out, hanging from my arms slightly and the fabric overlaps, like a blouse that is too big would. How my working clothes would fit me. It falls just above my knees, hugging my figure from my shoulders down.

Finnick wears a complimentary outfit. A white blouse like shirt that he has left the top buttons undone, since I undid them for him earlier, and fishing pants. A simple fishing net necklace hangs around his neck. We are the most undressed people here, but we can get away with it, we are Victors.

District Four's other Victors are here as well, having arrived earlier, like Annie and Mags. Mags catches my attention from where she sits on the other side of the room and waves, I grin at her softly and wave back.

"You find the boy, I'll talk with the girl." Finnick whispers in my ear and I nod slightly. Our relationship has not changed much since the night he slept in my bed with me nearly a month ago. We keep up our charade of being in love, and sometimes, we will sneak a kiss in when there are no cameras.

I turn my head slightly and let him kiss me, not really paying attention as my eyes scan the room. I catch sight of Peeta Mellark by a table of seafood, starring at crab legs like they may come alive and pinch him.

I make my way over to him sauntering and putting a big smile on my face. "Peeta!" He turns at the sound of my voice and his eyes widen.

"Stellar." He nods his head at me and I offer my hand which he takes.

"Please, call me Stell," I pull him forwards with more force than he expects and his chest practically bumps into mine so we're face to face. "Only Capital fools call me Stell. Come on, take a walk with me."

"But Katniss,"

"Oh I'm sure Finnick has found her by now," his eyes widen and I laugh, "Don't worry, he won't hurt her. I'm more worried about his safety than hers."

"Hay-"

"Haymitch and I are good friends; he's probably passed out drunk somewhere already." I lead Peeta, looking wide eyed, with me out the back door and towards the beach. We walk in silence for a bit before I deem it safe to talk freely, I turn on him. My fake act falling away immediately, the light, fast talking that I had done with him inside goes away into my hard, my real voice. "Okay, listen kid. You're in trouble, both of you, Snow-"

"Haymitch has told us." He interrupts me and I glare at him.

"Haymitch doesn't know what I'm telling you." He just nods at me. "This thing Snow's got you two doing, it won't work. No matter how hard you try it won't work."

"How do you know? Katniss loves me, I love her."

"You're a great liar kid, relax, I know it's not real. You're not the only ones who are faking love right now." His eyes narrow at me for a moment before his mouth falls open.

"You and Finnick."

"Exactly. I can't tell you here, we still may be overheard and I need to get you back inside. But remember one thing Peeta."

"What?"

"Water puts out a fire." I put a big smile back on my face, slinging an arm around his shoulders and turning us back towards the party. "Now come on, let's go dance."


	6. Chapter 6

The street Finnick leads me down is an unfamiliar one to myself. The dark stones that line the flooring, smoothed down to perfection, look the exact same as every other side street in the Capital, but the musky smell and the occasional rat that scurries along the side of a building gives away that this part of the city is not as extravagant as the rest.

It reminds me of my own arena. Slightly though, as these buildings are not ruins, but still in use by Capital citizens. I am yet to be told exactly where it is that we are going, just pulled aside during the party by Finnick, saying we had to go.

President Snow had made sure we both were in attendance to the Victory party in the Capital for Katniss and Peeta.

I pull the leather coat that I wear around me tighter, the air colder in the alleyways than main streets of the Capital, away from the heat lamps that they have line the streets in the wintertime. Ahead of me, I see Finnick do the same, his unruly hair sticking out in different directions.

Things between us have been, stressed, lately. Ever since he found me at Reed's grave after the Victory Tour visited District Four. He had gone into a panic after not being able to find me anywhere else by the docks or in my house. Finnick had started yelling at me once he had found me, just sitting in front of the stone, reading the words etched into the stone over and over and over again. I see them all the time anyways.

Reed Baltic.

Male Tribute: Sixty Eighth Annual Hunger Games.

Forever in our memory, forever in our hearts, forever our love.

I had just sat there, not even looking at him, as he yelled, screamed at me.

'Damn it Stell! Are you even _listening to me_!" His words ring in my head, and I feel the sharp pressure as his hand had come in contact with my cheek, he head snapping to the left at the blow. It had gotten silent quickly after that. After I looked over at him and he saw my face. See just more of the cracks that make up myself.

I can hear his rapid apologies as he backed away from me, as he didn't know what to say to what he just did, to my face as I just stared at him.

We've kept a distance from each other since then, when we can.

Finnick stops ahead of me and motions for me to come forwards. I do, and he pushes in a metal door with his shoulder, opening it up to a brightly lit hallway.

"This way, we're already late." I take out the pocket watch that I keep on me to check the time. 12:05. Five minutes past midnight. We walk down the hallway until Finnick stops sharply, looking around us, even though I know no one is here before giving five sharp knocks on the door. "It's a strategy meeting." He tells me loudly, so loud that his voice echoes off of the walls and I'm sure they can be heard through the door.

This apparently is the point. The door opens shortly after and we both walk in. I stop right inside the doorway as Finnick keeps walking and takes a seat, like he's been here, multiple times, before. My eyes scan across the room at who is gathered here.

My body stays tense as I take a step back to find that the door has closed behind me already. My hands grip into fists as my eyes swing to Finnick, who leans back in his chair, resting his feet up on the table, watching me.

"I'm sorry we were late." His voice comes out calmly, smoothly. I try to tell myself that it is fine, Finnick is relaxed, I should be too.

"Miss Mere." My head snaps over to a stout, portly man who stands at the head of the table. He extends a hand to the sole empty chair at the table. "We have things to discuss with you." My brain racks through to find who this man is, and one name sticks out.

Heavensbee. He's a gamemaker.

"I'd prefer to stand." My words are biting as they come out of my mouth and his eyebrows rise.

"Well, okay then. Haymitch won't be able to make it, so we can start now." He clears his throat loudly and others look to him. I recognize other gamemakers in the room, then there's Finnick, other important Capital citizens. And then there are other Victors.

Johanna smirks at me from the other side of the room; Aaron from District Ten sits beside a gamemaker. Blight has taken a seat as well; Beetee from Three is at the head of the long table. I count seven Victors in total here, including myself.

"District Eight has already rebelled, as you all know." My head snaps towards Heavensbee at his words. "I got word that Katniss and Peeta both know of it, but still no idea of the rebellion effort."

Rebellion effort. I listen carefully for the rest of the time that the man talks. Going over the planned overthrows in various districts. I learn how most Districts are almost ready to rebel, except for One and Two, and Twelve. They talk over strategies on if all Districts should rebel at once, or at different points. I learn that District Thirteen exists still, which makes my anger rise.

They explain everything in detail, over the course of two hours, and I feel most explanation is for my own personal benefit. I do not speak once, or interrupt.

"Stell?" I look to another gamemaker, who rises in his chair. "We would like your word of support for this cause." The room is silent and I hear Johanna tapping her fingers against the wall as all eyes are on me. I push myself up from the wall I lean on, pushing my hair out from in front of my face.

"No." I raise my chin as more than one man slams his hand down on the table. But I continue with my point. "I do not think that you all realize, what exactly will happen, if this fails." I walk around the table, my hand gliding over the back of some of the chairs. "Because right now, we have the Games, in which twenty four children die."

"Miss Mere, we have the Victor." I look to Plutarch, I learned his first name was, and grin at him.

"_Mister Heavensbee" _I emphasize his name, since he insists on calling on me formally. "Let me use myself as an example. You saw my own Games, correct?"

"Of course."

"Now, remember back, and look at me. Am I the same girl that walked up to that stage six years ago?" I let him have a beat of silence as his face gets confused. "That was rhetorical, don't answer it." Johanna lets out a snort and I grin. "Twenty _four _children die in that arena every year. Because we," I point to myself, and Beetee, then Johanna and Finnick. "Died too. We are our own species, if you would like to put it that way. Humanity, doesn't matter. Take Johanna, she and I are good friends, right Jo?"

"I guess so." She lets out a snort and I laugh a little at her.

"If she were to attack me, right now, I wouldn't hesitate to kill her. At all. Also, I know exactly how I would take out each of you, right now, and I haven't even consciously thought about it. You see Plutarch. You lose everything in the arena, you just wouldn't know. But back to my original point. We lose twenty four kids a year. Seventy four times, that's about, one thousand seven hundred and seventy six children that the capital has had murdered. If we go to war, we'll have more people die than that, but every day."

"But then after no more kids will have to die, people won't starve to death anymore!" Finnick interrupts me.

"I know. But if we fail, all those lives are lost. And then, what does Snow do now in retaliation for those who rebelled?" I let out a yawn, cracking me neck, and stop behind the chair that Beetee sits in, resting my hands on the top of the back. "More will die. District Thirteen hasn't come to help us for seventy four years"

"They were weak." Finnick defends them and our gazes lock together.

"Yes, but now their helping us. If you win, they aren't going to just be content with what comes. They will want control, want more power. Because they helped free us all from Snow. So what you all need to do, is fight for something else, not power, like I think that you are, that is what this sounds like to me."

"You don't understand!" Finnick shouts again at me when I turn around to walk back to the wall. I stop dead in my tracks, turning around to face him again. He's up out of his chair. "You don't get it! We can win, because we will if we have enough support! You just want to keep Snow in power and then just see what happens! We end up like this longer."

"I understand everything! Everyone better believe me when I say that I want Snow dead more than anything else, because he's taken everything away from me."

"He's taken away from Johanna, everything, and Haymitch."

"But he didn't give them something else, just one last thing to hang onto like I do." I look past Finnick to the gamemakers. "You make people fight for themselves, fight for each other, and that's stronger than anything else you can give them. That's how you win the Games, you fight for yourself. Because when you don't have anything left, you're all you've got to hang onto."

"What the hell has he given you to hang onto?!" Finnick is fuming and I glare at him. My words come out with spite, and at first they aren't directed to Finnick.

"Make me see you fight for yourself, then I'll help you, because then you can win." I focus on Finnick now, and my voice is low when I speak. "And he fucking gave me you." I turn and walk out of the room, back into the brightly lit hallway. My footsteps echo as I walk and push open the door, back out into alleyway.

It's started raining now, and the mist hits my face as I go, heading back towards the Tribute Tower. The party that was for our Victors is still going strong into the early hours of the morning. It's easy for me to get up to my room without trouble.

My mind does not allow me to sleep with all of the rebel information inside of it, so I sit up in the main room. The television flashes in front of me as I flick through the channels.

A glimpse of the main character of my nightmares causes my hand to freeze. I recognize what they are showing instantly, it's hard not to when you were there yourself.

They are replaying my Games. I watch as Wallis and Niko, the two Career boys from One and Two, are on screen. Niko's dark brown, almost black eyes flash towards the screen, his shaggy brown hair falling in his face. He grins, his teeth bearing, and I know we must be to at least day nine in the Games.

He went insane on day seven. The grim expression makes me want to vomit, and my nails dig into my arms as I clutch them to my body. I haven't ever watched my Games since my own Victory Tour, now I remember why. And now I can't stop watching.

I feel as though I'm back already, hiding up in the ruins of a half collapsed building as the boys' walks underneath me. The camera goes to me, trident in hand. I pull my arm back, ready to throw, before deciding against it.

My head snaps upwards and as I hear the creaking again, I force myself not to physically react to it. I heard what no one else had.

The low creak of the buildings ceiling that was still standing. I watch myself leap from my hiding spot, jumping from what would be a third story window as the building that I was inside collapses. I physically feel the deep ache run through my ankle again as I watch my legs give out underneath me.

The boys turn around at the sound of the collapse, and Niko spots my figure on the ground. Their shouts rise into the hot night air and I feel myself begin to sweat. It was always hot there, warm and muggy.

The backdrop of the forest, and then the ruins, make it look like we're in a horror movie, which isn't too far from the truth.

I get up from the hard ground and start running, my grip tightening on my trident as I hear the boys getting closer. My mind goes back to that moment in time, and my thoughts return to me.

Find water, why am I running, I should find Reed, keep running. Fuck it.

I watch as I stop dead in my tracks and spin around, my trident sailing through the air and hitting Wallis right through the shoulder. He drops to the ground, and I drop and roll as Niko lounges at me with his sword.

It's strange watching myself on screen fighting. I know what's going to happen before it even does. I get off the ground quickly, charging Wallis. I make sure to land on the hilt of my trident, pushing it deeper into his shoulder and his screams fill up the silence in the room.

A swift elbow to his jugular cuts off his screams as I yank the trident out and replace my elbow with it, causing his blood to spray in my face. A cannon sounds and I'm knocked down by Niko.

My core tightens as I watch him drive my trident into me just below my ribs.

But then he leaves me, as I lay on the ground, letting my head roll to the side, making it appear that I'm dead. He doesn't even wait for cannon.

Reed finds me an hour later. Though they just cut it so he finds me right away. Seeing him, alive on screen, causing my throat to close up. I study him, tall frame, and broad shoulders. His blue eyes stand out, even in the dark.

"Stell! Stell! Come on!" He slaps my head back and forth in his calloused hands, but doesn't touch the trident that is in me. He knows better than that. It's in the perfect spot though; it didn't go through ribs, or vital organs. "Stay with me!" You can see the panic on his face as he looks from me to the sky. "Odair!"

I sit up taller in my seat, I don't remember this, I couldn't. Reed cradles my face and presses a kiss to my forehead. His hands then go down to the trident in me, carefully pressing down on the skin around the entry points of the tips. I know he had done this before; I had myself on others before.

It happens sometimes down at the docks. Reed grips the staff of the trident, closest to where it splits into the three sections, as his other hand presses down on my body.

"This is gunna hurt like hell Stell, sorry." I wince as I see him rip the weapon from my body, ripping off the bottom of his shirt to tie around me and quench the blood flow. On screen, my mouth is wide open and eyes dilated.

* * *

After an hour of watching, we're on day eleven of the Games. I am practically back to normal, after Finnick sent medicine the night of my injury that healed it up quickly. I watch Reed walking down one of the main roads, the sun making the buildings cast strange shadows over where he walks. His eyes constantly scan the area in front of him, and occasionally behind. His footsteps seem to be the loudest thing in the arena as he walks. I know at this point, that there are five of us left.

Reed makes it to the edge of the woods, stopping suddenly at the sound of cracking branches, before the camera changes to me.

I'm running through the woods, occasionally glancing to my right, where up ahead you can see Niko and Valonia, the girl from Nine who he teamed up with. The camera shows the two of them split up, Niko going one way, Valonia the other and I take off after Niko.

I feel my eyes tear up and self-hatred rise in my stomach as I watch the screen. Niko stops dead in his tracks, but I don't know that, I didn't know that. I watch as I catch sight of Reed, standing in the clearing by the forest, and let my trident fly.

On screen, it looks like I know exactly what I was doing. Killing my District partner. The sight on screen slows down as it shows my trident go straight into his chest. As he falls to the ground. And I scream along with myself as I watch myself rush towards him. I catch him before he hits the ground, yanking my trident out in a panic and covering the blood that pours from him, from his heart.

And for the first time in six years, a tear runs down my face.

I watch myself hold Reed, and I can almost feel him in my arms again. He shushes me, putting a bloody hand on my face.

"It's alright." His voice is a whisper as I shake my head, wiping his hair away from his face. "Stellar, don't." I look down at him, and see myself on screen, tears streaming down my face. He wipes them away, blood smearing on my face and he smiles. "Your gunna go home, I know you will. Just remember me."

"You're the ocean, and you're the waves." He tries to laugh, but it just comes out as a deep shaky breath.

"Yeah," his voice gets stuck.

"Reed!" I yell at him, taking his face in my hands.

"I love you Stell." He sucks in a breath, letting out multiple small ones in order to keep speaking, "You'll always be like my sister."

"You'll always be my brother." I press a kiss to his cheek, then keep my forehead down on his face. "I love you too." We stay that way, our heads together, my eyes locked on his.

I remember watching the light drain from them, slowly. Feeling his breaths get shorter and softer.

The grip on my own arm is so tight that I feel blood running down into my hand. I see my lips moving on the screen, too soft for the microphone to pick up. I know what I was singing though. Our District's funeral song; the one for our tributes who die in the arena.

"And I don't wanna see what I've seen,  
To undo what has been done.  
Turn off all the lights,  
Let the morning come.

Now there's green light in my eyes,  
And my ocean on my mind  
And I'll sing from the water, tear my yellow dress and,  
Cry and cry and cry.

'Cause you're a hard soul to save,  
With an ocean in the way,  
But I'll get around it,  
I'll get around it.

Over the love of you

Over the love of you."

The words come from my mouth again as I see myself saying them to him, a ghost of a smile on his lips. I don't finish my song as I watch myself sing it.

The cannon goes off, echoing in the room. And it's like it shoots straight through me. It's what finally causes me to break, to fall apart.

A scream, that I can't even recognize is me, rips up from my throat. It's so loud that I cover my own ears. I curl into myself as I scream. I scream and scream and the tears rush down my face.

My screams from my Games join me. I look up briefly to see Reed's body on screen, with me clutching onto it. I'm so loud that I don't hear the door open.

I just hear Finnick telling me to calm down, begging me to calm down. When I lift my head he's right in front of me, on his knees where I sit curled up. Breaking, slowly shattering to pieces. He just stares at me, blood on my hands, tears running down my face. I take a shaky breath and cover my mouth with my hand and scream into it again.

I finally allow myself to remember him. All the memories of Reed that I have kept away, forced myself to not think of, come up. Running on the beach, his arms lifting me up and spinning me around as we both laugh. Sneaking out of the house to meet up with him and go swimming in the dark.

And I remember everyone else. My family who are all dead. I take deep breaths, looking to the screen to see that it is shut off now. Finnick's stony expression as he just stares at me. The only hint of something on his face is the single tear that rolls down his cheek.

"I miss him." It comes out as a gasp and Finnick's arms open instantly, letting me fall into him.


	7. Chapter 7

**This one's from Finnick's POV!**

* * *

I have always thought of Stellar Mere as being like the ocean waves.

Because you can count on the waves. That they will always be there, never stop hitting the shore in the same, consistent rhyme. There will never be a time that they won't crash against the shore. And sometimes, they can have outbursts. During the storms, how much they grow, how loud they crash, scaring away those near them and being the loudest thing around. But mostly peaceful, a quiet thing, that you take for granted until you actually are around them.

Stell has that quiet, demanding presence when she is in a room. You could easily look over her, but once you notice her, she sticks in your head. And I can always count on her to have it together, to be that grounding force in the room, which never changes.

I guess that's why I've always noticed her. Before her Games, before her Reaping, before my own Games. I would see her around in grade school.

That's the first memory that I have of her. I was sitting in the back of a classroom, the kids all a year younger than myself as I retook a test I had missed due to illness. They were also taking a test though; I don't even know what subject. But I remember Stell. How she suddenly stood up, her chair shrieking on the floor as it was pushed backwards, and walked over and just threw her test into the trash. The way she did it left no room for anyone to laugh at her, or tell her not too.

After that I would just see her around with those boys. All the time. I would only see her occasionally, maybe once a month, and she was never like the other girls. Even then, she demanded your attention without even trying.

So I knew she would win when she was reaped. And she did, I could count on that, just like the waves against the shore.

And when she has her moments, their spectacular. Like an ocean storm, she's fierce and nothing can stop her. Nothing can break her.

Which is why it kills me to see her break. It's why I don't know what to do, so I just hold her. I hold her to me and let her cry hysterically into my chest.

We sit there for a long time, and I try to hold her together, but we both know that's not possible. She's kept it together for too long. I knew this would have to happen eventually, and I guess she'll have to hurt for a while.

"I miss him." She whispers and I clench my jaw to keep it from trembling.

"I know," I run a hand down her hair and take in a breath. "I know." I repeat, though it's for the both of us.

"Tell me you love me," I look down at her, "and you always will." I don't respond, and she looks up at me. The makeup her prep team put on is running down her face, but she's still beautiful. Her eyes shine with tears, her face red and blotchy. It breaks my heart to see my Victor like this. She doesn't deserve it. "Please Finnick." She begs me, taking in a shaky breath. "You don't even have to mean it." My eyes clench shut, anger at the Capital rising inside me.

They made it so she just has to hear someone say they love her. It doesn't have to have any meaning to her. And I understand. I know what it means to know that there is one person, just _one person_ who loves you.

"I love you." I open my eyes to find hers. "And I'll save you."

"It's too late for that."

_Not if I can help it. I'll do anything to save you. _

But I don't say anything a loud. Just shake my head at her and put my face in her hair. She smells like the ocean, like home.

"Cephas was hanging from the chandelier. My parents were cut into pieces on the floor. And I could still smell what she had been cooking in the kitchen. I only said no once Finn. Only once." It takes me a few moments to remember Cephas is, was, her brother. And I have to swallow the vomit that comes up my throat. She had told me they died, but, but having to find them dead herself.

I'm amazed that it's taken her this long to fall apart. I hear her take in a deep breath, and another, she keeps shaking though. "I hate crying, it's weak."

"No it's not." I mumble and feel her shake her head, silently disagreeing with me. "I think, that it just means you've been strong for too long."

"But you're an idiot." Another deep breath and she goes to stand up. I pull away, letting her stand. Her dress is wrinkled, and I can tell by her wince that her leg is hurting her. She doesn't say a word to me as she walks away.

Her face is red and blotchy from her tears, her makeup running down her face. She turns her head slightly, looking down the hallway, and her blonde hair falls down, making a curtain between my eyes and her face. I still think she's beautiful. Everyone thinks she's beautiful.

"You're not alone Stell." My own words surprise me, and her, as she turns to face me, where I am still crouched on the floor. "I'm here too; we have more in common than any other two people alive right now." She nods her head, turning to make her way towards her room. I'm silent as I hear her door close, and wince a moment later at the sound of something shattering against the wall and a faint scream of frustration.

I let out a sigh, getting up off my feet and walking over to the bookshelf besides the television. Inside there are twelve scrapbooks. One for each Victor from District Four. I run my fingers over the outside bindings of them before stopping on one.

'Stellar Mere' has been engraved into the leather. I take it from its place, sitting cross legged on the floor as I open up to the first page. The books that the Capital made to keep here are rather unnerving. The things inside go from when we were born up unto the present.

So the first page has a copy of her birth certificate. In which it lists her parents. Gilligan and Ivy Mere. There is a picture of her parents as well. Her mother, she isn't smiling in the photo. Her black hair is pulled back into a tight bun. The description underneath the photo is short and to the point.

'Ivy Mere, Stellar's mother pictured above. Ivy worked in the fishing offices and is forty six in this photo. Deceased.'

Her father's picture I can take a lot from. His hair is blonde, like his daughters and is not cut too short, falling short of his shoulders. He's smiling in the picture too, a glint in his green eyes. I look between her parents photos and wonder how they ended up together. I glance down, reading his caption.

'Gilligan Mere, Stellar's father pictured above. Gilligan was captain of one of District Four's fishing rigs and is forty eight in this photo. Deceased.'

The picture on the bottom is of a boy who looks to be Stell in male form. His short blonde hair is cut nicely, while the shirt he wears is slightly too big for his frame. He has broad shoulders, and his eyes are the same dark blue as his sister's. They even have the same chill to them, the same emotion.

'Cephas Mere, Stellar's twin brother pictured above. He is sixteen in this photo. Deceased.'

I keep flipping through. Seeing school photos in which Stell is in them, from when she was five up until she was sixteen. I find a paragraph that tells of how she wouldn't follow the rules. Harassed peacekeepers, disturbed the peace, stole from some rigs. It tells of her main group of friends that she would hang out with.

It's strange for me, learning things about her past that I never knew before. All from a scrapbook. She never told me herself, and some of it you never would guess.

* * *

**THREE MONTHS LATER (STELL'S POV)**

* * *

You wouldn't think that the change in a person can be so great, just because of another. But it has been, and I find myself happier than I have been in years. I could tell you that my little breakdown is the reason, which in all honesty, it may be. But here has been a bigger, more influential factor. His name just happens to be Finnick Odair.

And with happiness, I find parts of my old self, and not really the good parts of my old self. The part that likes to rebel. The confidence that comes out, I notice the change myself. Because with confidence, you can get away with almost anything.

I find myself out in the District more often during the day than I have in a while, and with that, I see more of my old friends. For the most part, we just nod when we see each other, no words, just a slight head inclination.

But now I sit in Finnick's house, on the floor between his legs. My fake leg is off and to the side, leaning against the leather armchair. I feel his hands playing with my hair, I don't mind, I actually tend to find it relaxing, and so does Finnick. His hands tie my hair into loose intricate knots over and over again and I feel my body relax.

We don't say a word to each other, but when there's a knock on the door, Finnick gets up and leaves the room. He comes back a few moments later, helping Mags slightly as she walks in, sending me a smile which I return.

"I knew you two kids would be together." Her words are jumbled together slightly due to old age and her District accent is so thick that even I notice it, I usually don't even take notice to them since I have it myself, but I can understand her.

"He's not that dense once you get to know him." Mags grins at me while Finnick sits back behind me with a huff, leaning forwards so that his mouth is right by my ear.

"I'm not dense at all, you seem to adore me." I roll my eyes and look at him.

"I wouldn't use the term _adore _it's more like I'll put up with you."

"But you willingly put up with me." He grins and then presses a kiss below my ear before leaning back in again. Mags leans over, whispering something in his ear that I can't make out, but it causes him to look between myself and her multiple times. "That's really quite a disturbing thing to say."

"You keep that in mind Finny." She pats his head twice before settling back. I look back to the screen to see Katniss is a wedding dress. We've already muted the television but I watch anyways, since we are supposed to be during a mandatory viewing.

"I've never seen you in a wedding dress." Finnick says offhandedly and I turn to look at him with raised eyebrows. "What?" I tilt my head slightly at him, wondering if he'll understand, but of course he doesn't.

"Finn, it's a wedding dress, I've never had a wedding." His jaw falls open slightly as he understands.

"Ohhhhhhhh, that makes sense."

"Yeah."

We watch the rest of Katniss and her dresses, Finnick getting into a fight with Mags over which dress is the best one. I really don't give a damn on which one, and I'm pretty sure Katniss doesn't either, given she doesn't even want to get married, I could see it in her eyes during the proposal. It's forced, neither of them want it.

I close my eyes with a sigh and don't open them again until Finnick says something that catches my attention. "Hey look it's Jack Frost!" I look up in confusion until I see President Snow on screen, I reach for the remote, and unmute the television, the roar of the crowd fills the room.

"It's the card drawing." I hear Mags and look back to her, my expression asking her to explain. "For the Quell, we get to know what's different about it this year." I nod my head, feeling a weight seem to go over my chest as I watch.

"Good day citizens of Panem!" Snow's voice roars and I stiffen, I feel Finnick place a hand on my shoulder. "This year is the seventy fifth year of the Hunger Games, and thus, our third Quarter Quell!" More applause, more shouts and hollers.

A young Capital boy steps towards Snow, holding out an envelope, which Snow takes and opens slowly, looking up once directly at the screen into the camera. He raises one hand slightly, and the whole Capital goes silent, it seems that the whole country goes quite. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears and feel Finnick gently squeeze my shoulder, my hand goes up and takes his.

"To remind the Districts that even the strongest of the strong cannot overtake the Capital; this year's tributes will be reaped from each Districts pool of existing Victors."


	8. Chapter 8

**Yeah for updates! Sorry if I sound really like, bitchy for this but please please review! It really means a lot to me to know what you all think! Everyone keeps favoriting and following which I am extremely grateful for as well! Only takes two seconds to review! And now we get to the part of the story that I've been looking forward to writing tons and tons!**

The living room is completely silent for about two minutes as we all let the information sink in.

_The existing pool of Victors. _

Which means I can go back in the arena. I get to go back. I feel the grin grow across my face into a smile and I throw my head back and laugh. A deep laugh that comes from the pit of my stomach. Finnick looks down at me confused as my head rests in his lap. I reach over and grab my leg, putting it on before I let to my feet, throwing my hands in the air.

"This is fantastic!" I exclaim, the smile not leaving my face. Finnick looks up at me, eyebrows raised.

"What? Stell you can't go back in." I laugh at him going over and grabbing his hands, pulling him up.

"No I am! Can't you see Finn? This is wonderful! I get to go back in, where I belong! It's either I win again or I die!"

"Nobody belongs there Stell!"

"Finnick, we're killers, it's who we are now. I can let myself go, I can be myself in there! And if I die, then I'm out of this shit!" His face goes blank and I stop my enthusiasm for a second to look him straight in the eyes. "Finn, I'm not scared of death." My face breaks out in a smile again before I shake my head slightly. "I'm going swimming." I let go of his hands, rushing out the door and down the stairs onto the sand covered pavement.

I let out a whoop as I take off down the road, my bare feet hitting the hard pavement in a consistent rhythm. I even fist pump the air slightly as I run, ignoring the people who look outside to watch me go by.

I reach the dock and run towards the end of it, diving off and disappearing beneath the waves. I'm weightless under water, maneuvering my body whoever I like. I stay under water for a long time, not having to go up for air for almost seven minutes. A skill which saved my life in my own Games while being hunted down. I twist and turn, flipping over and backwards before I come up to the surface. I tread water as I look out over the ocean. The moon reflecting against the waves in the night, and I wonder, briefly, how the other Victors are taking the news.

I really should be scared, or terrified, but I'm not. It reminds me of what I always tell our tributes while going out of the train for the first time.

"_Chins up, smiles on, and remember, if I could, I'd go in there for you." _ I mean, sure it's not really what they want to hear, but it gets my point across. I turn around in the water, and see Finnick sitting on the dock, his feet in the water.

I swim over to him, my hands holding onto his ankles, he looks down at me and I grin. "You're not happy." I tell him and he makes a face.

"Not exactly, I don't want to lose you." I let out a breath, pulling myself up slightly so that my face is in front of his.

"Well, we have a couple months." My arms go so that they're around his neck. "Make the most of it." I smirk when he cocks his head. I use his weight to my advantage, flinging myself backwards, taking him with me into the water.

* * *

Mags leans on her cane, watching us as Finnick and I circle around each other. We've been training ever since the announcement two months ago. She mostly just watches, saying Finnick and I can handle ourselves and don't need too much coaching. I've been thriving on the training, gaining most of my flexibility and motions back since my victory. I bounce back and forth from foot to foot as Finnick watches me closely, always moving.

He was never too keen with hand to hand combat, not as much as I was. Most of his kills, all but one were done with his trident from a distance. Only two of my six were with a trident. I bounce so that my left leg is more behind me, Finn notices, shifting his weight slightly forwards, reading my move as that I'm going for his legs again, like I did a few minutes ago.

I shift my weight for a millisecond, and then let my left leg fly upwards and out. My roundhouse kick catches Finnick straight in the head and he hits the ground with a thud. I hear gasps from the crowd that has started to gather while we train.

"Stellar!" Mags snaps at me and I stop, looking over at her sheepishly. "No head shots girly! Look at the poor boy!" I look at Finnick, who is on the ground still, clutching his head.

"You okay Finn?" I ask, he groans in response and I let out a chuckle, "Sorry about that, but you were too tempting."

"S'fine, _puta merda que dor._" Finnick swears in the ancient language of District Four. We don't use it that often, though most people here know both English and District Four language, which we call Areia. "_Belo chute_."

"_Obrigado._" I grin as he gets up from the ground. My District Four accent is very thick when I say it, and I find my mind switching over to the other language easily. My father made me speak nothing but Areia from when I was seven to when I was nine. "_Vamos continuar Eu não vou te chutar na cabeça."_

"_Isso é o que você disse antes, mentiroso." _The people around us laugh and I snort right before Finnick lounges at me. We both go to the ground as I fight to get my forearm over his throat. I fail in doing so and end up pinned underneath Finnick. He grins down at me.

I get my right hand on his left shoulder, gripping it tightly before bringing my lips up to his. I see his eyes widen in surprise and I jerk upwards, flipping him over and digging a knee into his sternum.

"Not fair." He says and I bring my finger to his neck, dragging it across.

"Boom, your dead." We both let out chuckles as Mags shakes her head at us. Finnick sticks his tongue out at me as I get off of him. "Let's get lunch." I don't wait for a response as I walk towards his house rather quickly. People start to disperse as Mags gives us a knowing look. Finnick knows too and follows closely behind me.

He knows I don't really want lunch.

I can hear him lock the door to his house and walk towards me as I go down the hallway. "Hey, hey, hey." I hear him and feel his hands go around my waist, spinning me around smoothly and putting me against the wall as he kisses me. I grin, this has happened over the two months as well. It's not forced, it's just. Us.

My hands stay on his shoulders while one of his is on the wall above my head, the other on my waist. I feel Finnick smile as he moves closer, his body flush with mine.

"We have a plan now," he whispers in my ear, "to escape from the arena." I hum to let him know I'm listening. I've only gone to one meeting since the announcement, only to voice that I would cooperate in an escape plan. "I think it'll work, discharging the force field around the arena to let in aircraft that will take us out." I nod slightly before capturing his mouth with mine again. His hands slip down, bringing me up so that my legs wrap around his waist.

I let out a gasp when Finnick nips slightly where my neck and shoulder meet and feel his smile.

"I love you." It comes out as a breathy whisper from my mouth and we both chuckle, knowing that it's not true.

* * *

The day of the reaping dawns clear and crisp. The air is colder in the mornings, though it may just be because the docks are deserted right now as I walk among them. I watch the ships rock back and forth as the water moves them. For a moment I can pretend that I'm sixteen again, having to get back home to get ready to get reaped for my first Games.

Oh how much things have changed since that day seven years ago.

The sand covers my feet as I walk in it, running between my toes. It calms me, the repetition of it, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Stell!" I turn at my name being called and I am surprised at who I see. Riptide walks towards me, going at a brisk pace to catch up. I stop, my arms crossing over my stomach as I raise my eyebrows at him. He stops a few feet from me, just standing there, and then, I see the boy that I grew up with.

A young Riptide, with shaggy blonde hair falling into his face covering his blue eyes. His limbs just growing into his body, not so lanky anymore. I see the Riptide that I'd run down the docks with, hollering as we went and then tackling each other off. The one that once made up a story of how we were attacked by rabid tuna fish to a peacekeeper when we were caught with a stolen boat.

And then it's present day Riptide again, all grown up, a father. I take a deep breath, and at the same time we both go and embrace each other tightly.

"I know you'll do your best, but I can't lose you, I really can't." he whispers to me and I nod.

"I'll try, I do know what I'm doing this time around." He snorts at me.

"Of course you do you little shit." I pull back from him, a grin on both of our faces. "He'd be proud of you, Cephas I mean, and your father." I glance away from him to the docks, out to the ocean. A pod of dolphins swim across from where I can see.

"Yeah." I purse my lips. "I should probably get going, my, my prep team will be at my house soon."

"Yeah, you're a hard soul to save Stellar, damn hard."

"Good." I pause as we back away from each other. "Rip, take care of yourself, and your family." He nods at me.

"You too, I'll, well either way I'll see you again, someday."

"Someday." And with that I turn around, walking away from my friend, back down the beach towards home.

* * *

I stand with a cocky smirk on my face as I stand with Mags and Annie in our roped off area at the Reaping.

"Welcome, to the Reaping of the seventy fifth Hunger Games!" Mandy looks between the two pens, she actually looks slightly saddened though. Even in her obnoxious green wig. I look across to Finnick and our gazes lock. My pen is just Mags, Annie and I, while Finnick is with the other Four Victors.

Shamus, Killton, Zodiac, Nordic, and Finnick stand together. I clutch onto Annie's hand as she shakes in her spot.

"You're fine Annie." I whisper in her ear and she nods, not looking away from whatever spot she's focused on.

"Ladies first." Mandy says and walks over to the bowl. Her hand dips down as she looks over at us. Her eyes are sad as she takes one slip and walks back to the microphone.

"Stellar Mere!" I let go of Annie's hand and duck under the rope. I walk up the stairs calmly, my heels clicking on the stone as I walk. I catch a glimpse of myself on the big screen in the square. My white dress seems to float along with me as I go; my hair pulled out and curled out of my face. I stand, hands clasped behind my back as I stare straight ahead.

It's just like the first time I stood here. The feeling is different though, because I know that I may not be dying. And this time I'm excited, I know what I'm doing, I love what I'll be doing. Survival is instinct.

"And now the boys!" Mandy picks the first slip she touches, and for a moment, I hope that it's not Reed, forgetting that this isn't that reaping, remembering that he's already dead.

"Finnick Odair!" Finnick walks up the stage, coming straight to me, grasping my hand in his, giving me a kiss on the cheek before he stands, both of us facing our District. I do not even acknowledge him.

"This year's tributes for District Four!" At Mandy's words our District erupts into applause. They holler for us, letting out shouts of praise. This has never happened before. Not the shouting. At one boys words though, my blood goes cold.

"Down with the Capital!" His fist is raised in the air, and I watch in silent horror as a peacekeeper fires into the crowd. My jaw tightens as the boy drops dead, along with others. Finnick does not move either, his grip iron on my hand.

"Come on kids, let's go." Mandy is in front of us now, ushering us away as we turn. I look back once to see the District taking on the peacekeepers. More gunfire, more shouting.

That's the last view I get of my home before I get on the train. Total chaos.

**Chapter Facts:**

**The language that I chose as District Four's language is Portuguese. **

**When Riptide says "You're a hard soul to save" he's referencing the song that they sing to their District tributes that die during the Games, so he's basically saying he thinks shes not going to live this time. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for all the reviews guys! Means a ton to me! Here's the next chapter!**

"Isn't that my shirt?" Finnick looks over at me as we walk towards the door to exit the train. I can hear the screaming Capital people outside, even though our train windows are tinted so that they cannot see inside. I look down, pulling on the hem of the dark tan button down shirt. The sleeves are rolled up and it's rolled slightly. I shrug.

"I think so." I hear him let out a huff and roll his eyes at me. "I personally think Mandy will love it."

"Oh, you're gunna give the poor lady an aneurysm."

"That's the point Finnick." He sighs again, his arm slinging around my shoulders as we turn the corner. On cue Mandy lets out a protestant squeak at my outfit of choice.

"Y-you can't make your first impression dressed like, like-" She waves her hand up and down at me. "Like _that._" I don't really see what matters, I'm dressed like I would be back in Four. The button down shirt, the slightly billowy pants and my rope necklace that Reed made me years ago. Hell I didn't even put shoes on.

"Mandy, it's like the millionth impression. I think I'm fine." She stops her foot on the ground like she's five before muttering to herself.

"Fine, fine, here, go on." She moves aside from the door and Finnick's arm drops to his side.

"Chins up, smiles on." I mutter the words and he chuckles beside me as the door opens and we're both blinded by the flashes of cameras. I allow a slight grin on my face as I raise my hand in greeting to the people.

"Stell! Stell! Are you excited to go back in the arena!?" I ignore the man, not even looking his way or at any others that call out to me. It's unlike the part of me that they know and love, the one who does whatever they ask. Finnick ignores them as well and we walk beside each other, him a half step in front of me as we go.

We reach the door and enter the remake center, going our respective separate ways, but not before Finnick presses a kiss to my hand, in sight of the Capitalites. I shoot one last glance to the crowd, my mouth curving downwards at the sight of it, and then go to my room. I grin when I look into one of the sections and see Johanna strapped down to a table.

I walk over, poking her foot slightly with my hand. "Hey babe." I laugh as her eyebrows rise.

"Hey heartless, you looking for a fight?" I smack her ankle and she kicks it up at me.

"Course I am. See ya later Jo."

"Bye ya." I leave my friend and continue down until I see my prep team. The three of the loudest bunch of jumbling idiots a person could ever meet. But sadly, they were my idiots. Technically Bling's, but they did always work on me.

And so an hour later I'm ridded of all the body hair I had, which is basically none to start with, and my hair is shining like the sun on the water. I stand, naked, before a mirror a just a few hours after we had arrived, and Bling pushes aside the curtain as he comes in.

He's not carrying a large dress bag like he had the first time I was in this spot. This time, he only holds a small plastic bag that I can't see through. I catch his eye in the mirror and raise one slim eyebrow. His grins slides into place as his head cocks slightly to the side.

"I was talking with Evie." He says, referring to Finnick's stylist. "and we both agreed that the more skin that the Capital can see on you two, the better. So, here." He reaches into the bag and pulls out what appears to be just a large tangled mat of twisted fishing netting.

And then I see the two pieces as he holds them up. I stand quietly as my prep team dresses me, trying to avoid as much contact with my skin as possible, then relaxing slightly when they realize that I won't snap at them.

My top piece is interesting. The netting ties between my shoulder blades; going over one shoulder and under the other arm. It goes across my chest before being pulled tightly just under my breasts so that it is also tied in the simple knot that keeps it all together in the back. Loose netting hangs down slightly, I'm guessing it will blow to the sides when the chariot is moving. The netting on my lower half is also interesting. It's just tied around my waist, falling down to cover me, but stops about three fourths up my thigh. I am given pale blue underwear to wear underneath, but it is not visible under the netting.

When I am done dressing, I look at myself. It's simple, but stunning. The netting covers what it is meant to, but contrasts against my dark tanned skin and blonde hair. And there's so much skin visible. My stomach, legs, arms, my whole back. They got what they wanted when designing this.

"You're stunning Stell." Bling smiles at me and I nod as he dismisses the prep team. "You can go now."

"Thanks Bling, for everything." I grasp his hand as I say it and he nods, smiling at me.

"It's always an honor." With that I turn and walk out, barefoot still, and make my way down the hallway to the chariots.

I'm not the first to arrive, but certainly not the last by the looks of it. And my District partner is here already, his mouth right beside Katniss Everdeen's ear. I bite back a laugh at her expression and look around the room, spotting Peeta walking in. I strut over to him, throwing my arm over his shoulders. I lean into him.

"Hey there handsome." I whisper it in his ear and feel him shudder slightly. I pull away slightly, looking at his face to see his eyes trained downwards at my outfit, or down through my top. His face goes red when he looks up to see me watching him.

"H-hi Stellar." His voice gains more confidence when he says my name and I grin.

"You call me Stell, everyone else who isn't Capital brainwashed does." His eyes widen at my words but I just shrug it off. "Oh like they would care if they heard me. But Peeta, I think we could have some fun together."

"I really can't be bought, unlike all your other male companions." His voice goes hard and I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Peeta, let me tell you a secret." I chuckle slightly. "I don't use money, that's too simple, I prefer to use something more valuable."

"Like what?"

"Secrets." I whisper it and he makes a face. "Now, I must be finding Finnick, he's getting carried away with your fiancé." We both look over to our District partners, who are still together talking. "Have a good entrance, nice outfit." I let my eyes go up and down his body, taking in the black skin tight jumpsuit thing he's in.

"Uh, thanks, you too." He smiles at me and I wink, retracting my arm from around him before going towards Finnick, who stands alone now by our chariot, popping sugar cubes into his mouth. Our outfits complement each other, his only being some netting that's tied quiet intricately to cover his crotch.

I let out a huff when I get to him, snatching the sugar out of his hand as he looks me over. "Stop, all this shit will make you sick, and I'll be the one having to listen to you puke all night."

"Oh shut up, you look beautiful." His compliment is genuine and I feel my stomach flip.

"Thanks, not too bad yourself." I turn to the white horse that will be one of the two leading the chariot. I stroke its neck, letting out a sigh when I feel Finnick wrap his arms around my waist, hugging me close to him. He rests his chin on my shoulder, and we just stay like that for a few moments before he pulls away.

I look around, spotting Haymitch and share a brief look before nodding.

I turn around, stepping up into the chariot after Finnick. When I look back Mags is there, looking up at us.

"You two be good. Don't push each other off." She waves a finger at us and I smirk at her.

"I don't know, if his presence starts to annoy me I could just shove him down."

"Hey! That might hurt me!"

"That's the idea."

"Bully."

"Asshole."

"Ow!" Finnick and I both look wide eyed at Mags as she puts her cane back on the ground. I look down at my feet, which are now bright red since she just smacked our feet with her cane.

"I said be good."

"Okay, okay." Finnick rolls his eyes as our chariot lurches forwards. Mags gives us a nod as we are pulled away. I let out a breath, putting my hands together behind my back. I lift my chin, holding my head high as, once again, I am shown off like a lamb going to slaughter.

**Hope you liked it! Hopefully the next chapter will be soon! Thank you so much for the reviews! Love them! Sorry it's so short, but it's something! I'll be updating my story Supernova tomorrow and then updating this one soon after!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Wahoo! More favorites, follows, and reviews! Keep those good old reviews coming! I'm hoping to get updates coming faster, hopefully. I'm just super busy right now with school and eventing season is still in full swing with back to back competition weekends for me coming up. But it gives me a lot of thinking time so I have great ideas for what's to come!**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

**Playlist for the chapter:**

**Applause-Lady Gaga**

**Royals-Lorde**

**You Wont Find This-Carrie Underwood**

**Please note that some of the songs I'll have here have no connection to the emotions in the chapter at all.**

**Xoxo ~Mocking Verse**

* * *

Applause. All around us, filling up the Capital until I think it can't possibly get any louder. They shout and scream and stomp their feet on their seats.

I let the smirk come on my face. I flourish under the attention. If there is one thing that the Capital citizens love, it's their Victors. Most of us in one giant parade must almost be too much for them. I wonder if they've realized that their loosing twenty three of us, perhaps, in just three days?

I keep my hands behind my back and sneak a glance at Finnick. He's already looking down at me, his eyes alive as he smiles. I let out a soft breath fleetingly and then glance behind us as the noise grows even louder.

District Twelve looks magnificent. They stand out in the dark and I just raise my eyebrows before turning back around, my face settling into a cool façade of indifference.

Our horses start to turn, taking their place beside District Three as the others position themselves around us. And then the devil comes out. His eyes scan over the lot of us and I do the same quickly.

'_The strongest of the strong' _it rings in my ears as it settles in my stomach. All the reapings were rigged. Perhaps Two was not, obviously Brutus and Enobaria would volunteer themselves to go back in, it was probably expected. I shift my gaze to District One and can't help the pang in my stomach when I catch sight of Gloss standing beside his sister.

He looks over, feeling my gaze on him, and nods to me. But I know it means nothing. Once the gong sounds, it's everyone for himself. Unless you have an alliance of course. But it won't matter if I run into Gloss by the cornucopia. It does not matter that all that he taught me while I was in forced prostitution probably saved my life. I won't hesitate to kill him.

But I'm not too surprised to see him and Cashmere. You can't just kill one sibling, in case of rebellion, the living one would obviously side with the Rebels. Besides, siblings dying together are always more entertaining to Capitalites.

District Three has their two smartest Victors. Beetee. And well, I don't know why Wiress is there, she's smart but only Beetee can understand her since she can never finish a sentence. The habit has always bothered me, to a point where I have actually had my hand locked around her throat threatening her to just finish the fucking thoughts she has.

The peacekeepers weren't very happy with me for that. Not that I give a shit or anything.

Then there is Finnick and I, who were reaped for obvious reasons. Districts Five (Quincy and Mindy) and Six have both of their most recent Victors. Seven got Johanna, who is so snarky and blatantly against the Capital, along with Blight, their strongest male Victor.

Eight (Nial and Venus), Nine (Will and Sarah), Eleven (Chaff and Seeder), and Ten(Rodger and Celena) also have their strongest Victors, even if some of them are now in their forty's some their fifties. Twelve has Katniss and Peeta, who got us all into this mess.

"Welcome citizens of Panem!" Snow nods to the crowds when I look up at him, and then he turns to us and he locks his gaze with me. "Victors!" another nod, of which Finnick and I do not return. We don't change out expressions, we don't move, we don't acknowledge his presence. None of the Victors do. President Snow drones on about how important the Quarter Quells are and I only half listen to him until the very end. "I have been told, guaranteed, that these will be the most exciting Games yet! Good luck to our Victors, and let the Seventy Fifth Hunger Games begin!"

* * *

"You think you could throw a trident farther than me?!" My voice rises as I take another sip of my brandy and Johanna scoffs at me from her spot on our couch. About twelve Victors are on the fourth floor of the tribute tower, after Finnick demanded we have a 'Hunger Games reunion' as we got off the chariots.

Which then followed with Johanna stripping in front of Katniss as she told her she wasn't invited because she hasn't even met everyone yet. Then I got stuck in the elevator with Katniss, Peeta, and a naked Johanna. It was worth it to see Katniss's reaction to the situation though.

And now we're here. Finnick, Mags, Johanna, Blight, Chaff, Gloss, Cashmere, Seeder, Haymitch, Celena, Nial, and myself all take up the living area.

"Of course I can! Trident and axe throwing basically have the same mechanics!"

"No, no they don't. Tridents longer, you throw them like this-" I make a weak throwing motion, my hand ending straight out from my body, my elbow locked in an extended position. "Axe is like this-" I throw nothing again, my elbow still bent by the end unlike the trident throw. "So no, you can't do it better than me."

"I agree." Finnick speaks up from behind me and tightens his grip around my waist as I sit on his lap.

"You two are gross." Haymitch glares over at us and Chaff nods from where he sits across from his longtime friend.

"No, your two loverbirds are gross." I stick my tongue out at Haymitch and he rolls his eyes. "Where are they anyways?"

"In bed."

"Oh, they're so young, still having curfew. I remember that, I never paid attention to it."

"The only thing you eva pay tention to is how ta kill somebody." Celena speaks up, her District Ten accent thick, and my head rolls across Finnick's chest as I look at her.

"I'm taking that as a compliment." I let out a soft laugh, "Besides I wouldn't be saying that if I were you, I'll be the one putting a blade through ya little throat."

"How you know that one?" she asks, narrowing her eyes.

"Because I want to, you and your rope tricks always bugged me. I'll make sure to make your death nice and slow."

"I don't doubt you will if you get the chance."

"I'll get the chance less than a minute after that wonderful gong sounds."

"Not if I get that good'ol rope round your neck first."

"What if they don't give you any?"

"They will. Just like'em to put rope 'n tridents 'n all that other shit so we can make it exciting."

"Or they don't give us anything and it's all hand to hand."

"Or at the very end they say 'just kidding we aren't having the Games this year!'" I look over at Gloss, who said the previous remark. He's leaning up against one of the support beams and I narrow my eyes at him. He matches my gaze and shrugs. "Hey, a man can dream."

"That's one dream that isn't coming true." I feel Finnick's chest rumble as he laughs at his own response and I let out a snort.

* * *

Katniss Everdeen is scared of me.

I can see it in her eyes, in the way she watches me while I work at each station. How she follows my actions closer than any other Victor here. The way she flinches each time my trident hits its mark.

"ela está com medo de mim" I tell Finnick while we tie knots together a few hours into training as I jerk my head shortly in Everdeen's direction. She sits; talking lowly to Peeta as he sits alongside the morphing's from Six, painting his arm.

I hadn't noticed them really at first, and I can't come up with a reason as to why they were reaped.

Finnick looks up at me with a smirk. "eu sei." _I know _he tells me, staying along with our Districts language. "Ela me disse que não gosta de como você jogou seus jogos" I scoff. I don't care if she doesn't like how I played my own Games. It's kill or get killed, there are no rules.

"Eu não gosto de como ela jogou a dela também, ela pode ir chorar sobre isso com seu namorado falso." Finnick laughs at me, a barking laugh that echoes through the training center and causes the other Victors to look over at us.

"That wasn't nice." Finnick says, nudging me with his elbow.

"I don't really go for nice." I glance up when I register footsteps coming this way, and see her walking towards us. As much as I don't like her, I know this is the time that we need to intact our alliance with her. I was all against it, but Finnick insisted that it's a crucial point in the plan. We were going to wait until we were in the actual Games to make the offer, but Haymitch pointed out that Katniss will see me as a major threat, more so than Finnick thanks to my cheery attitude, and shoot at me first before asking questions.

Finnick grins widely as she sits down a few feet away from us, taking up a piece of rope. "Hey Katniss." His voice is a soft purr, smooth as silk that makes my stomach knot up.

"Finnick." Her voice is curt as she focuses on the rope in her hands.

"I don't get an acknowledgement?" I ask, causing her head to snap up as she looks at me.

"Stellar."

"It's Stell." Finnick and I say it at the same time.

"Sorry." I shrug as Finnick moves closer to her, taking her hands and easily helping her finish a complex knot she was failing at tying. I let out a breath; I've been tying those with my eyes closed since I was seven.

"So Katniss, we look forwards to spending time with you in the arena." Finnick lets the sentence slip as he finishes tying a knot, his right wrist ending up right in Katniss's line of vision.

The golden flames bracelet he wears catches the light from the ceiling and her eyes lock onto it. Eyebrows furrow and she looks up at my partner, who keeps his wrist where it is. The change of light in her eyes lets me knows she's understood what is exactly being said and she looks to me.

Eyes drift to my bare wrists. I do not wear the flames anywhere. Mainly because I refused to.

"I'm with fish boy." I smirk and she lets out a groan before she nods.

"It'll be safer working together." And that seals the deal of our alliance.


	11. Chapter 11

**Next chapter!**

**Playlist:**

**If I Saved My Heart for You-Carrie Underwood**

**Beautiful-Christina Aguilera**

* * *

I am up before the sun, and I watch it rise above the city from where I stand in front of the windows in our apartment. My foot is cold against the smooth wood floor, and I lean heavily against the crutch that rests in my armpit.

The hues of yellow and orange dominate the sky behind the skyscrapers and other candy-colored buildings of the Capital.

I did try to sleep last night, but I only got a few hours' worth, no more than four, at the most. I awoke to myself screaming, and if you listen carefully during the night, you can hear the Victors above and below you scream as well. But not Finnick, he never makes a noise. He doesn't know why though, at least, he didn't the one time that I asked him.

I continue starring out the window; the people of the Capital are already up and about. The screen that shows the bets for the Quell is on, as always. I'm the third favorite to win, coming behind Katniss and Finnick. Peeta is tied with me at the moment. My grip tightens on the crutch in anger.

They bet on who will be the last to be alive. It's sick.

* * *

Finnick's POV

* * *

I come to a halt when I see her, just standing, starring out over the city. My eyes bring back the same image, seven years earlier. There are differences though, she has two legs then, and is leaning into the firm and steady body of the boy she got reaped with. His arm is draped around her shoulders, holding her close to him as they look out.

He leans down, whispering something in her ear that makes her laugh. It's a musical noise, which fills the whole room. A grin spreads across my face at the two of them as he bumps his hip against hers.

"Fuck!" The hissing curse brings me back to the real world to see who she is now. Taller, her hair is shorter though and does not shine as it used to. She's still beautiful though, no one could deny that. I look to her crutch; the handle breaks off and falls to the ground as she lets her hand out of a fist.

I would go up and offer my help, but I know that she will refuse it. She doesn't like charity, and that's what she will see it as.

Instead I make my way into the dining room, taking a seat and only having to wait a matter of seconds before food is placed before me. Stell hops into the room a few moments after I start eating. She lets out a huff, plopping rather ungracefully down into her chair.

"You ready for the sessions?" I ask her and she looks up from stuffing a waffle in her mouth.

"I guess so, you?"

"I have a few ideas." She nods, her focus going back to her food.

* * *

Stell's POV

* * *

It's wonderful how easily forming the clay comes back to me once my hands are on it.

I keep my body between what I make and the gamemakers, so that they cannot see what I am doing. The statue comes to shape easily and quickly. I use my fingernail to carve in the details.

A cremation of Seneca Crane's face looks back at me as I pour water into the hollow head. A splash of red paint makes the water look like blood and I cover it with clay.

I used to make pots back home when I was a small child. Alongside my mother, who kept up financially with our family by selling them before she got a job in the factory. I remember sitting down by the ocean with her, digging down deep enough until the ground was just as we needed it to be. She would make all different types of pots and show me how. Coil pots, slab pots, anything really. We would bring the clay home and it would dry overnight. This clay, the Capital kind, dries quickly though, only in a few minutes, so I only wait a few seconds before stepping back and walking over to the tridents.

I feel their eyes on me as I walk to the target range, throwing the trident so that it hits the bull's-eye of the targets. I hit the moving holographic targets next; piercing threw them easily before dropping to a knee, hitting one with the hilt of the trident before I spin around and let it fly out of my hand

It pierces the face of Seneca Crane right between the eyes, shattering the clay into pieces, the red water spattering across the floor. It is an amazing sight really. The head I had made, just a few minutes before, bursting into pieces as the weapon breaks it apart. I know that they saw the face I made of it, and I know they see what, hypothetically, I have just done.

I killed last year's head Gamemaker. I know that he was killed, for letting Katniss and Peeta survive, one of the secrets that was whispered to me months ago. A few weeks before I started with Finnick, before I had even come home from the Games.

The room is silent as I walk towards the exit door.

"Ms Mere!" I stop and turn my head when they call out to me. "Aren't you going to wait to be excused?" It's Eramus who asks me. He has been a gamemaker for several years now, purchased my old services many times in fact, but is not the Head Gamemaker. I let out a breath and smile up at him.

"No, you don't own me anymore." I turn my attention back around and walk briskly to the door, which opens in front of me. I make my way down the hallway, only to turn the corner and see Finnick leaning up against the wall. One leg bent, his foot flat against the wall and arms crossed over his chest. His hair falls slightly over his eyes and I don't stop, but walk up to him, pushing it back. It's a futile thing, for it only falls back into place.

"You've always been such a taciturn person, since the Games." He says, almost to himself before he looks up so our gazes meet. "Why is that?" I don't respond immediately, but I think my answer over in my head.

I saw death. Lots of death. I saw darkness and nightmares come true before my eyes. But I know that's not the kind of answer he is looking for. Those are excuses, not answers.

"Because I learned that it's better to speak through actions, than with words." It sounds like a good reason, a good answer to me. Finnick nods.

"But you are good with words."

"Sometimes." I give him a small half-hearted grin before looking an arm through the space between his elbow and ribcage. "Come on, we have some time."

* * *

That night, three tens are awarded for the first time in Hunger Games history.

One to Katniss.

One to Peeta.

And one to me.

* * *

**So sorry for the long wait! Life's been super busy right now with school and everything, but I'm hoping to update more! I've been posting some short writing stuff to my tumblr recently. Its not all HG related. Right now I'll be posting short writings of an OC/Ky Markham thing that I do between sets of homework. Really short things, less than a thousand words each but if you want to read those my tumblr is rverzuk**

**Thanks!**


End file.
